We’re all for retiring the phrase ‘friend zone.’ We're not gonna lie; we think it's a bit misogynistic and dumb. Besides, there are far worse zones to be in, amIright?
The problem with 'friend zone' is that it implies that a woman is only good for her sex potential. Heaven forbid she be a good friend or something. Gross. As long as we're telling dudes to quit saying 'friend zone,' it's time to turn some tough love on you ladies: take some responsibility for your relationship problems.
The Internet loves hating on "the friend zone," because the Internet sees friendship as the highest form of torture a horrible woman can impose on a sweet and infallible man, because the Internet is 14 and a stupid piece of shit. – Winston Rowntree, J.F. Sargent, Cracked.com
Do you find yourself eternally lonely and shrill with whining to your well-meaning friends about your sad sack, love life? Welcome to the self-denial bonanza of the Danger Zone!
Let's identify your type:
You may be the kind of lady that finds herself perpetually in a place where no one feels like a good match for you. Do you find yourself over analyzing your date’s “flaws” in order to keep your impenetrable bubble of zero human interaction intact ... this may be you. Let's try this: just bask in someone else's company (expectation free) and just see where things go. Accepting another, flaws and all, can be a beautiful thing b*tch.
But it's a slippery slope – you don’t want to go and accept any 'ol slob that comes along just so you're not alone. It's okay not to have a date lined up every weekend or share your bed every night; we're here to tell you the joy of diagonally sleeping in your queen-size bed, make-up smeared and snore-drunk on Sunday afternoon. It goes without saying every women has to love their own company more than anybody else's and stand proud of the solo shadow looming ahead of her. Psst: that's when you get to know yourself best. (Just ask Mandie.) We think you'll be surprised by how well you'll get to know yourself just by spending some time being a lone lady ranger.
Grab a mirror and give yourself a stern look (ya know, that one you use when you're really serious) and be honest with yourself about why you've been unlucky in love. This tete-a-tete ain't gonna be easy, but we've heard risks are what bring us the greatest love-joy.
It can feel a bit dangerous – but, um, isn't safety supposed to be boring?