Italian Couple Sues for Bad Sex and Wins!

Suing for bad sex? It seems like the plot of a rom-com gone wrong, but—amazingly!—it's very real and didn't occur in litigious-as-hell America.

An Italian couple recently won €20,000 (or, $28,000) in a bad sex settlement. Apparently about two years ago the woman was hit by a car while crossing the street. It no, it wasn't just a little fender bender, 'my bumper bumped your booty' thing either—she was bedridden for three months. Since then, she and her husband have noticed that the injuries have had a particularly cataclysmic effect: their sex life has been ruined.

Although their sack-time has remained the focus of the settlement, the couple also stated that they can't ride bikes or travel together any more. In response, the driver's insurance company had the big ol balls to suggest that since the couple is middle aged, their sex life is on the outs anyway. It should not be, they believe, a big deal that their naughty nookie has been dashed to bits.

Oh, hell no.

For starters, 85.4% of women currently enduring menopause are sexually active. The majority of those women also agree that sex is important, even those who aren't gettin' any. While we're gettin' all factual on your ass, close to 90% of married couples still have sex all the way through their 60s. Once folks hit the nursing home, you may as well throw on some Chuck Berry and have a geriatric orgy, a blur of wrinkled flesh and gummy grins. It's well-known that STIs in the nursing home are basically the head lice of elementary schools. So, all in all? That was a remarkably stupid, offensive and erroneous argument.

Fortunately, the court was on the couple's side. $28,000 won't fix a sad-sack sex life, but it may help buy some wicked expensive sex toys to experiment!

Image: Italian courthouses sure know how to look good. Courtesy of, Wikimedia

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