Anal is having a BIG moment right now. 2016 was the year of the rear, and we’re all about that. Maybe that's why I keep hearing people asking about butt plugs and how to use them.
Well, my friends, a journey to anal sex has to begin somewhere. And if you're not ready to dive right in, you can start at the beginning: with anal toys.
From what to buy to how to use them, here is the ultimate guide to butt plugs.
OMG, why butt plugs!??!
The anus is rich with nerve endings that love to be titillated and stimulated. Anal toys deserve their moment in the sun.
Butt plugs are an easy, accessible way to start your journey into anal play. They don’t have to be scary or intimidating. You don’t have to jump into the deep end with a plug the size of the empire state building. You can start with something small and manageable. When you’re considering going full anal sex, you have to warm your butthole up that challenge.
Butt plugs aren’t just for anal sex prep; they are super enjoyable on their own. “Wearing one draws attention to the butthole, which is really sensitive and it feels great,” says Claire Cavanah, Co-Founder of Babeland.
For me, I enjoy the feeling of fullness that comes with wearing one during penetrative sex. It adds an extra level to the sexual stimulation, having two holes filled up.
It’s not for everyone, but as I always say: You won’t know if you like it unless you try it.
Have the conversation with your partner.
Wanting to try anal stuff requires having a little chat about anal with your partner. If you’re looking to stick a butt plug up your or your partner’s rear, make sure everyone is on board. Cavanah suggests setting the scene.
This means having the conversation when the moment feels right, “If there’s concern about ruining the moment, have the conversation outside of the bedroom. Talking about sex during sex can be more challenging if either of you feels vulnerable.”
Keep it neutral. When you bring it up to your partner, there’s no reason to make it awkward. Make the experience about both of you, not just something you want to try for the hell of it. Sex should be about creating a mutually satisfactory experience.
Communication is essential in any healthy relationship. If you can talk about anal play, you can handle any sexual milestone you might encounter.
Buy the right stuff.
Ah, yes. The juicy part: what to buy?? In a world full of so many butt toy options, choosing the right gear can be hella overwhelming. If you’re a beginner, the best thing you can do is go SMALL. The medium sized toys may look manageable, but they aren’t. I swear. You want to buy something small and easy to use. You can’t just go shoving a big bertha butt toy up your asshole without any prep.
Don’t buy a butt plug made out of porous material. Since you’re dealing with the anal cavity, the last thing you need is leftover bacteria on your toys. ICK. Stick with toys made from hard plastic, silicone or metal.
I’m a big fan of this anal starter kit from Doc Johnson. It comes with three sizes so you can work your way up as you get more comfortable with anal play. For beginners, Cavanah suggests the Lovelife Explore which works comfortably for any body, big or small. She also recommends the Little Flirt for newbies. See? Anal toys aren’t scary, right?
For intermediate anal players, Bootie Medium is an excellent choice. Its curved top is great for prostate pleasure, for the fellas. If you want some vibration, the Vibrating Perfect Plug is a good option.
Once you work your way through the advanced levels of anal play, you can advance your butt toys to more adventurous heights. This stainless steel Pfun Plug is for the pros. Cavanah says it’s the largest one can aspire to use.
Lube is a must.
When it comes to butt stuff, lube is not optional. This is not up for negotiation. If you’re going up the butt, you need to buy lube. End of story.
Silicone lube works best for anal play because it is thick, long lasting, and extra slippery. If you’re using a plug made from silicon, you’ll need to use water-based lube as it can cause the toy to corrode. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Cavanah suggests buying BabeLube Silk, which is a delightful hybrid between water-based and silicone. It is easy to clean up like water-based, but long lasting like a silicon lube. I’m a big fan of organic coconut oil, as an all-natural option.
To insert, just apply a generous amount of lube and ease the plug inside the opening of the butthole. Slow and steady wins the race. You can slide it in and out at will, or just leave it in place for the duration of sex.
A big NO to cross pollination.
This means NO TO PUTTING SOMETHING IN A VAGINA THAT HAS BEEN IN A BUTT. You will get a UTI or yeast infection. It may look hot in porno, but it is dangerous, unhygienic, and just plain disgusting.
Read the directions on your toy for exact details. Some materials can be sterilized and used for both vaginal and anal play. BUT only after cleaning and thorough disinfection. Others specify that they can only be used for vaginal play.
I’m of the persuasion that you should keep your anal and vaginal toys completely separate. Sex toys are an investment. Use your butt plugs for anal; your other toys for vaginal. Plain and simple.
There will be poo.
Okay, so here is the real shit: just like with pegging, butt plugs involve poop. It will likely just be a little residue if you had a nice bm that day, but there will be some poop. You just have to get over it.
If you’re going up the butt, accept the fact that the butt is where the poo comes out. This is just a fact. Expecting to have anal play, of any variety, without experiencing a little fecal matter is not realistic.
Come to terms with this before you get into it. It’s just a little poop. NBD.
Just be sure you thoroughly clean all your toys.
Wash them with a mild, antibacterial soap. Read the directions, but most anal toys can be boiled. I suggest getting a Joyboxx for your toys. It comes with the Playtray, which an antimicrobial, elevated tray to keep used toys away from surfaces and gives freshly cleaned toys a place to dry.
Lastly: Your butt plug won’t get lost up there, “Only put something in your butt that has a flared base. The butt isn’t a closed system like the vagina.” Cavanah says, “Things can travel further up into your body through the anus.” As long as you’re buying the right toys, you’ll be okay. I promise.