Shower sex is one of those things that sounds hot in theory, but almost universally sucks in practice. Being wet and soapy and naked seems like a natural scenario for getting it on. You go ahead and try it, only to quickly realize the error of your ways. One second you’re making out while trying to rub each other off, the next second you’re thinking, “Oh, god. Why did I do this? I’m so damp and somehow also dry?!”
And yet, we continue to have shower sex. It’s a hurdle we want to breach. It is like this holy grail of promised sexual pleasure and kinkiness that everyone alludes to having obtained.
Pulling off shower sex isn’t easy, but here are some tips to help you try:
1. Choose the right gear.
Instead of relying on your amazing sex skills during shower sex, utilize the sex toy collection you’ve been slaving over. Some toys are not shower-safe, so be sure you’re picking the right stuff. Waterproof vibrators are key here. They can get wet and give you orgasms all at the same time.
If you’re having bathtub sex, don’t bring in any toys that contain motors. If you submerge “waterproof” toys, you can destroy them. The more you know.
2. Go for oral.
Penetrative shower sex isn’t the only kind of sex in the shower you can try. Have your partner sit on the floor of the shower or tub and go down on you while you’re standing (hold onto something steady).
Be sure they are sitting, not kneeling. Kneeling on porcelain or tile will be painful and could potentially damage their knees. Oral sex is ideal for the shower because you don’t have to worry about drying out during penetration. It just works.
3. Easy positions are key.
Shower sex is dangerous, plain and simple. There is soap everywhere, everything is wet, and someone could fall and break something. You don’t need to recreate a scene out of a sexy movie to make it work. Do you get what I’m saying? You don’t have to stand. Other guides will say standing doggy or three-legged spoon. Nope. Bad. Danger zone.
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4. Don’t change positions quickly.
If you want to change sex positions, don’t throw yourself into it. This may work in the bedroom, but in the shower, you’re asking for a fall.
Slow everything down in the shower. Have passionate, drawn-out sex. This will both build intimacy with your partner and lower the risk of hurting yourselves. When you’re moving positions, do so with purpose. We’d advise not changing positions with your eyes closed. Again, this is dangerous.
5. Get a bathmat.
If you must do standing positions, you should have a waterproof bath mat that suctions to the bottom of the shower. You may think this is a geriatric suggestion, but you don’t have to be elderly to fall and break your leg/arm/face. Bathmats make your whole shower experience that much safer, so whether or not you’re having shower sex, it’s good to have one.
You need the extra grip. It’s just going to make the entire experience more doable. Buy one on Amazon. Have it in there, ready to go, just in case.
6. Water is not lube.
Despite what your brain will tell you (water is wet!), water is not lube. In fact, water washes away your body’s natural wetness, causing you to be even drier. When your vulva and vagina are dry, sex is uncomfortable.
Bring lube into the shower. Silicone lubes are relatively water resistant and stay on better. We like Babeland’s hybrid silicon/water lubricant. Lube may seem kind of messy and therefore throw off the shower sex motif, but you can always wash down after the sex. You are in the shower, after all.
7. Don’t have unrealistic expectations.
Think of shower sex more as a sexy prelude to bedroom sex. A sort of wet n wild foreplay, if you will. Since shower sex is both hard, unreasonably dry, slippery, and awkward — having orgasms is not always doable.
Instead of going into shower sex and giving up halfway through because it “seemed like a good idea at the time,” use it as an opportunity to start fooling around before getting it on hardcore after you finish scrubbing. Being in the shower naked with your partner is sexy as hell, but the fun doesn’t have to end in the shower.