target

Every kid’s favorite place to be a kid for the last generation or two is shutting its doors for good. That’s right, Toys 'R' Us is closing up shop.

You may be assuming that we’re going to be seeing pink, and if so, then you are partially correct. But they took that gender stereotyping and walked it right off a cliff. Instead of the logo and belt, the “bat girl” shirt has a four item to-do list.

If the point they’re trying to make is that creepers are gonna creep, well, I hope they get a look in the mirror while they’re in there.

Target’s lack of gender signage is obviously a sinful, confusing disaster. You should definitely never shop there again. But just in case you ever need to buy a gift for your kid and Wal-Mart is closed, here are some tips for how to navigate the Godless dystopia that is the new unlabeled toy section of Target:

6. Light-up crap: Illuminated pig? Obviously. For a mere $45 you can deck your lawn with this Tinsel Pig and a number of other forest/farm animals/snowmen/pretty much anything you can think of. First you shell out your hard earned dollars, then you try to find a place to store your pig/fox/snowman/Santa when it’s not December. Best wishes.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

A Target spokesperson has confirmed that a Chicago neighborhood will soon be the lucky recipient of a brand spanking new Target –– complete with a BAR. That has ALCOHOL.

Oh Target. Do we love you, or hate you?