Man Presumed Dead Wakes Up In Body Bag
Whoops! In Mississippi, funeral workers were getting ready to embalm a dead guy in a body bag when said dead guy started kicking. Yes, that's right, he was body-bagged alive. The good news: he's not dead! The bad news: creepy-ass nightmares for a long, long time. (Shudder.)
Monkey Takes Adorable Selfie
Apparently, monkeys are narcissists, too. In Indonesia, an adorable and enterprising monkey snatched a GoPro camera from a tourist and promptly shot a video of himself. After returning the device, he reportedly asked "Do you think I look fat?" (OK, we made that last part up...)
Man Wins Lottery, Promptly Gets Arrested for Speeding
If you had just won $50,000, would you be able to abide by speed limits on the way to collecting your &^%$! winnings? We're gonna go ahead and say "hell no!" which is why we can't help but side with local Massachusettsian who was pulled over for speeding right after learning he had hit the jackpot. The man—who was visibly shaking with excitement—was let off the hook with just a verbal warning. $50,000 and getting out of a ticket? Best. day. ever.
Steak 'n' Shake Operators Buy Maxim Magazine
The company that runs, among other businesses, the greasy-food chain Steak 'n' Shake has just purchased Maxim, the dude-fest outlet devoted to all things cars, sports and babes. Maxim will continue to be run independently, meaning, for now, no special menus named after super-hot chicks. For shame.
