In perhaps the most depressing decree of all time, Turkish Deputy Prime Minister Bülent Arınç expressed some serious concern for the depraved corruption coursing through the moral fabric of Turkey at a recent Eid al Fitr meeting, which celebrates the end of Ramadan.
What's destroying said chastity faster than a flash sale at a sex shop? Why women's laughter of course.
“Chastity is so important. It is not only a name. It is an ornament for both women and men. [She] will have chasteness. Man will have it, too. He will not be a womanizer. He will be bound to his wife. He will love his children. [The woman] will know what is haram and not haram. She will not laugh in public. She will not be inviting in her attitudes and will protect her chasteness.”
While Arınç does include men in his round-up of wrong-doings, the only "chastity" he mentions in regards to our penis-laden brethren is not sleeping around and loving his children. But I mean, isn't that pretty standard issue—like the basic tenets of being a vaguely "good" human being? Is it really that much of a sacrifice to not screw around on your wife and show some affection for the beings you theoretically chose to bring into this world? And are forged from your own loins? Male chastity (as far as I can tell) is not a constrictive code of behavior or ethics . . . unlike his expectations for the fairer sex.
In addition to not laughing in public—because that gurgling noise in our slender throats is basically like sex-moaning down the street and will obviously beckon all kinds of unwanted attention and openly illustrate how much we need. the. sex.—Arınç also included these gems:
"Where are our girls, who slightly blush, lower their heads and turn their eyes away when we look at their face, becoming the symbol of chastity?"
DON'T LOOK US IN THE EYES. We're like ill-trained Dobermans; one renegade glance and we'll dig our teeth into your neck and plunge your penis right into us. Yes, we're wondering too: where are these pink-cheeked girls quietly staring at the ground as they make their way around town? Maybe they're in traction because they can't see ever where they're going. Just a thought.
Lastly, Arınç has some helpful advice for saving some money on data plans: keep us flapping-lipped bitches off the phone lines!
“Women give each other meal recipes while speaking on the mobile phone. ‘What else is going on?’ ‘What happened to Ayşe’s daughter?’ ‘When is the wedding?’ Talk about this face to face.”
God he's so right. Don't share stories about your day; don't forge relationships with other women in your community; don't ask about other people's families or about a pending celebration. The phone is a sacred tool of information exchange, not a place to express yourself or feel connected to other human beings. Is that so hard to understand?!
Shockingly, the women of Turkey don't agree with Arınç's suggestion and proceeded to post thousands of pictures of themselves on social media grinning, guffawing and bearing their teeth in pure protest of ebullient joy.
In a country where more than 40% of Turkish women have suffered domestic violence—and more than 120 female citizens have died at the hand of their partners or family members just this year—Arınç's comments speak to the somewhat astounding attitudes still proffered and perpetuated.
While Turkish activists like Zeynep Kandur (who works for the women’s branch of Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan's Justice and Development Party) believe the sanctioned misogyny has certainly improved over the past two decades—“Twenty years ago you wouldn’t report domestic violence . . . you wouldn’t tell your own mother-in-law."—the sexist system rages on and can only very slowly be dismantled.
I don't know about you, but I'd like to issue a decree about Arınç's mustache. I mean, that thing is downright virile. No wonder women are laughing in public so much, they've got to release their sexual steam somehow. Blush.