Gigi Engle

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

Let’s be real, friends. All sex positions are not created equal. Sex is amazing and fun, but there are certain sexual situations and moves that are better than others.

Forget a hot bod! I just want someone who knows himself.

Sex is amazing, but let’s address the giant pink, dildo in the room: while sex IS super fun, sex is also exhausting. It’s an entire workout in itself.

I found that Yoni crystals can apparently put you at risk for toxic shock?!??! And I was like: WHAAAAAT?!?!!?!?

Inflexible people have sex, too. We can’t all be bent into pretzels and simultaneously orgasm our faces off. Here are 8 sex positions for inflexible people.

If we stopped buying into the idea that it takes a relationship to be whole, we’d all be better people. I'm happy I'm single!

I spent much of my childhood fawning over episodes of Star Trek. It was always about Spock for me. Therefore, Star Trek shaped my love life.

Attention everyone: DIY sex toys are NOT a good idea. Here’s why.

I was such a dipshit in my 20s when it came to sex. If I had a nickel for every orgasm I faked, I wouldn’t owe Uncle Sam an arm and a leg in student loans. TBH, it makes sense that we’d adopt some unsavory sex practices in our younger years. What else are you supposed to do when you’ve been told your entire life to please your partner and just go along with it? Your 20s can be a shy time. You don’t know how to ask for what you want because you fear rejection. It’s time to leave that shit behind.