Lindsay King-Miller

While it might seem frivolous to those who feel right at home in the titles "mom" or "dad," many queer parents agonize over what they want their children to call them.

Someone I have never met donated a large sum of money, for no other reason than they felt it was the right thing to do, to help my family feel safe.

For queer parents like me, meanwhile — although I know that my whiteness and my class affords me a degree of protection from scrutiny and interference — the threat of being deemed an illegitimate parent also serves to silence any discussion of mixed feelings.

I never want my child to doubt herself the way I do myself. I never want her to feel the anxieties that weigh me down, though I know she already senses it.

The fact is that trans-exclusionary feminists and misogynists are, despite some trivial differences, basically on the same side.