Virgie Tovar

Virgie Tovar

Bio

Virgie Tovar, MA is an author, activist and one of the nation's leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image. She is the editor of Hot & Heavy: Fierce Fat Girls on Life, Love and Fashion (Seal Press, November 2012) and the mind behind #LoseHateNotWeight. She holds a Master's degree in Human Sexuality with a focus on the intersections of body size, race and gender. After teaching "Female Sexuality" at the University of California at Berkeley, where she completed a Bachelor's degree in Political Science in 2005, she went onto host "The Virgie Show" (CBS Radio) in San Francisco. She is certified as a sex educator and was voted Best Sex Writer by the Bay Area Guardian in 2008 for her first book. Virgie has been featured by the New York Times, MTV, Al Jazeera, the San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, Huffington Post, Bust Magazine, Jezebel, 7x7 Magazine, XOJane, and SF Weekly as well as on Women’s Entertainment Television and The Ricki Lake Show. Her most recent speaking engagements have included University of Washington, Earlham College, Hollins University, University of California at Berkeley, University of California at Davis, California College of the Arts, Sonoma State University, and Humboldt State University. She lives in San Francisco and offers workshops and lectures nationwide. Find her online at www.virgietovar.com. And on instagram. 

Virgie Tovar Articles

Femininity as we know it is about smallness — metaphorical and actual. Fat women defy the core tenet of femininity, which is: be small. It doesn’t matter if we “chose” this power or not.

Take The Cake: Dear Fat Girl, Do You Know How Powerful You Are?

My unique capacity to see the vile underbelly of “normal” life made me an important witness to the reality of cultural failure. My inability to pass as a “regular lady” had helped build a road out of the stifling reality that so many of us face — that women’s lives are mapped out of for them before they even embark on their life journey.

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It's good to be body positive and body proud. (Image Credit: Instagram, Virgie Tovar)

Take the Cake: Fat Fury, Fat Love — Claiming 'Fat Space' In Activist Communities

Fat people are not obligated to be disproportionate emotional laborers. They get to be angry, frustrated, and even difficult, just like everyone else.

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Ali Abbassi’s Border movie

Take The Cake: Does Ali Abbassi’s ‘Border’ Have Lessons For Fat Acceptance?

Ali Abbassi’s ‘Border’ movie ultimately reminded me of what happens when we meet someone who reflects our power back to us.

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Before this trip, when I thought “Vienna,” I didn't think “plus-size paradise.” But holy shit. Image: Virgie Tovar.

Take The Cake: Fat Babes In Vienna

My favorite thing about this trip was that I spent my time in Vienna with fat feminists by my side every single day.... Occasionally, our bellies bumped into one another and then rebounded for just a second, like balloons. The familiar physics of fatness multiplied by two or three. I felt like we spoke in shorthand, the language of shared experience.

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image credit: Virgie Tovar via Instagram

Take-Out The Cake: Would You Date A Fat Fetishist? (Part 1)

Would you date a fat fetishist? It always feels complicated to answer this question, but I promise an honest one by the end of part two.

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You look into the chocolate long enough and the chocolate looks back, girl. Image: supplied.

Take The Cake: Saint Mary Of The Chocolates

Jacob (boyfriend) lives walking distance to a See’s Candies. This means that half the week I live walking distance to a See’s Candies — which, if you're me, is a little like living next to Disneyland.

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“I’m not discussing my weight or how I eat today.” - Virgie Tovar

Take The Cake: 4 Body Boundary Tips For The Holidays

My boundaries around how people can talk to me about my body are very clear. I’d like to share with you four body boundary tips for a better holiday.

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Confidence can be faked, but healing takes time, energy, and work. But it's worth it. (Image Credit: Instagram/virgietovar)

Take The Cake: The Confidence-Industrial Complex

Like many women and girls, I was taught that confidence is a commodity that we can use to attain romantic and sexual attention from men. We spend a lot of money and energy trying to capture that elusive sense that we are worth a damn. But for me, healing has become my primary focus and it has led to major shifts in my sense of self, more clarity about what I need, and a deeper relationship to my desire.

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Some beachside "jigglecize" at #BabecampJamaica

Take The Cake: A Fat Girl's Guide To Losing Control

By the time you read this, Babecamp Jamaica will be over. My 57 mosquito bites will have just stopped itching.

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Don't ever underestimate the power of the good ol' fashioned vent sesh. (Image Credit: Instagram/Virgie Tovar)

Take The Cake: The Power Of Venting

I know that not everyone has the same appetite for The Vent, but when it comes to doing work around diet culture and fatphobia, venting is a powerful tool. For people who are in the process of healing from diet culture, we are often wading through an enormous ocean of misinformation, gas lighting and dirty ol’ lies. Without access to venting, our emotions and thoughts occur in sort of a vacuum where we can easily talk ourselves out of what may well be very astute analysis.

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