I have to admit it. I've always been a bit wary of online-induced romance. There's something about the dull clicking of the keys and humming glow of the screen that leaves my loins decidedly dithering. I guess I'm a bit old-school. There's still a part of me that believes in that ineffable glance, that stomach dropping, holy-shit moment of attraction where everything gets a little fuzzy and the possibility is just. palpable.
But alas, that lust inevitably fades (thankfully! I have other things to do than loll around in post-coital bliss thankyouverymuch) and in its wake you discover who that person actually is. What they really bring to your life beside that wonderful—but fleeting—hunger. And often that carnal attraction doesn't translate to a real-life, I've-got-the-fucking-flu bring me soup, the dog got hit by a car and needs surgery, my mother has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, I cant afford to buy my own house I thought I'd have more figured out by 30 shit.
Heavy stuff ain't sexy, but sadly it comprises much of life.
So. I'm rethinking the online thing and so are a helluva lot of other people. Maybe carefully combing through a boatload of front-loaded, meticulously thought out self-presentation is actually a dreamy dating option. Instead of learning about someone's interests, foibles and/or mommy issues in trickles and spurts over the course of four dates . . . why not gain some insights right then and there on their profile?
Instead of letting our vaginas lead the attraction (look at his eyes and the way his jeans hang off his hips) let's let our heads do some heavy lifting here. While the prevalence of online dating is undeniable—it's a 2 billion dollar industry!—the stigma of an online meeting often still sullies the air.
Every time someone tells me they met their current lover online, they accompany their "How We Met" story with an apologetic laugh and a shrug. It's like they've betrayed some unspoken social archetype; online is un-romantic. How dare I couple up using the cold digital heart of the Interwebs?!
I say, shame no more. Is it that much more "romantic" to say, "we met at a bar?!" or "mutual friends set us up?" Nope. I suppose the "story" of meeting online isn't as compelling as eye-f*cking across a crowded room of strangers . . . but who cares? Our lives aren't sitcoms, novels or films designed to entertain other people.
And if this gal has taught me anything—the most desired person in all of New York—it's the sheer delight of discovery. Instead of waiting around for that elusive magic moment, grab yer p*ssy-balls and go make. that. magic.
I've got a fistful right now.
