Britni de la Cretaz

Britni de la Cretaz

Bio

Britni de la Cretaz is a feminist mama, recovered alcoholic, and community organizer in Boston, MA. She's a founding member of Safe Hub Collective. You can find her on Twitter at @britnidlc.

Britni de la Cretaz Articles

Contemplation.

I Named My Rapist On Facebook. I Wasn’t Prepared For What Happened Next.

I’m working on an essay about the time I was raped my freshman year of college. For the very first time, I’m naming my perpetrator. Even if it’s only his first name, there’s still so much power in it.

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It's the truth.

Why I'm Proud My Child Showed Her Doctor Her Vulva

Studies have shown that teaching kids the actual terms for their private parts — instead of cutesy nicknames — decreases their chances of being targeted by a sexual predator. Their words are their weapon, whether they know it or not.

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The last thing we need is one more thing to feel inadequate about, one more thing to feel like we’re doing “wrong” when it comes to having a baby. Image: Thinkstock.

The Best Laid (Birth) Plans Are None of Your Business

While people asking about our plan likely have good intentions, the conversation opens you up to so much judgment about how you’re planning to give birth.... Birth plans are personal, between parents and their care provider. We all make choices for our families that we feel are best, and at the end of the day, that’s what matters.

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She’s more than mindless, fluffy pop music and she always has been. She’s an incredible vocalist and a great songwriter. She gave me hope when I needed it most, and I wish I could do the same for her. Image: Wikimedia.

Kesha Saved My Life — And Is Still Saving It

I stared at the picture of her sitting in the courtroom sobbing; I read the news stories, and I cried, too. As a sexual assault survivor myself, I felt a lot of things in that moment. Above all, the ruling was a reminder to me that, as a woman, I do not matter. Not in the eyes of society, not in the eyes of the law. It was a reminder that I do not deserve safety, nor will I be guaranteed it. It was a reminder that my body is not mine, and it never has been.

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Seven Years After The Abuse, And Triggers Still Remain

It’s been seven years since I left him. Most days he doesn’t cross my mind. I forget that he existed. The things that he put me through are filed away somewhere that never gets opened. I’ve done the work of understanding what I went through, of forgiving him for the abuse, of moving on with my life.

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Please, make it stop.

The Only Thing That Cures Morning Sickness Is Having The Baby

After the positive test and the cautious excitement of we're having a baby! came what felt like a literal gut punch — intense, chronic, debilitating morning sickness. I'd wake up and be okay until it was time to get out of bed and try to make it to work. As soon as I was vertical, the nausea would kick in and I'd run to the bathroom.

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I Changed My Name When I Got Married...But I Didn't Take His

Women have changed their last names from their father’s to their new husband’s — a tradition that used to symbolize the transfer of “property” from one man to another. That property, of course, was the virgin bride. Many people will argue that it no longer has that implication, but for me, as a feminist, partaking in a tradition that is so rooted in the literal oppression of women is something that left an incredibly bad taste in my mouth.

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BDSM and the use of safewords.

How Safewords Helped Me Reclaim My Sexual Power

The first time I remember learning what a safeword was, I was sitting in my college dorm, devouring blogs about kink and BDSM. It all seemed so foreign to me, a teenager who couldn’t imagine real people doing any of the taboo things these blogs talked about.

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This momma’s hair is not up for debate. Image: Thinkstock.

How To Get Mom Hair

There’s nothing wrong with moms who decide to go for a stereotypical “mom cut.” If they like it, or if it makes their lives easier, that’s fantastic. Personally, my hair after I had children remained just as important to me as it was before I had them. My hair has always been a huge part of my identity — candy-colored, funky, and so totally me.

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Pregnant! And sharing the news!

Why I'm Talking About My Pregnancy Publicly In The First Trimester

The first trimester is not normal. The first trimester is hell. The first trimester is vomiting in trash cans, falling asleep sitting up, sore breasts, perpetual nausea, hella strong food aversions, extreme mood swings, and crying because your partner ate your taco; all while not looking or feeling pregnant.

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