Carrie Saum

Awash in the postpartum anxiety, I felt glued to the couch, unable to mobilize myself to get anything done except the bare basics of being a present.

We had no turkey, no casserole dishes heaped sweet potatoes or creamy green beans, no pies made from scratch, no beautiful table settings or nice dishes to heap our non-existent feast upon.

Maca has also been shown to boost adrenal function and support healthy cortisol. This cinnamon maca almond butter is also a sweet treat!

I am not here for your betterment. I am not here to be your dumping ground for all of your thoughts and fears. You are not entitled to my emotional labor!

Motherhood didn’t pan out the way I anticipated, not even a little bit. It was so much more electrifying and terrifying and amazing than I ever imagined.

I said it. The thing moms are never ever supposed to say. I NEED MORE.

Thin Mints are my favorite. They’ve ALWAYS been my favorite. I would hide a sleeve in our freezer as a kid, and wait for my brothers to leave the house so I could eat them in peace. As an adult, not much has changed. I look forward to that time of year when Girl Scout cookies make winter doldrums bright again.

I now interrupt your frantic turkey preparations for the following announcement: 

EAT PIZZA, INSTEAD.

In February, you gave me that soul-punching gaze again and told me it's okay to eat bread while we obtain Our Best Bodies. You lost 26(!) pounds and you eat bread every damn day! I feel how miraculous this is for you because you've probably made bread evil, along with All The Carbs and fat on your body.

Here are my favorite ways to infuse my body with energy that actually aren't hard and take almost no effort. You don't have to be pregnant to use these ideas, so don't worry. Although, you might make a baby in the process.