Carrie Saum

I’m writing this, and I don’t even fully know how to tell you to slow down during your busy life because the truth is, I’m learning how to do this myself.

We had no turkey, no casserole dishes heaped sweet potatoes or creamy green beans, no pies made from scratch, no beautiful table settings or nice dishes to heap our non-existent feast upon.

One of my favorite things to do is make comfort food with a twist. Not so twisty that I lose people (I see you lurking in the $13 specialty treat section, beef jerky chocolate bar). Nor will I take two foods that are genius on their own but should probably never join themselves in a culinary union (I’m looking at you, Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger).

The truthiest truth, though, is food is expensive. It costs a pretty penny to feed yourself well, with conviction, ethical sourcing, and quality ingredients. It’s OK if you are privileged enough to be able to eat a certain way — there is NO SHAME in that. But please. be careful not to shame those who are unable to eat according to YOUR convictions.

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When I turned 21, my body crashed.

Motherhood didn’t pan out the way I anticipated, not even a little bit. It was so much more electrifying and terrifying and amazing than I ever imagined.

Newborn life...when that bliss wears off. Not all at once, and not in every way. But the bliss becomes less blinding. Everything returns to real life.

The shame was overwhelming. Why was my body broken? What had I done to my baby? I began to spiral into self-loathing. Gestational diabetes felt like a failure.

This is by no means a comprehensive list of internalized toxic beliefs, but it’s a start. Keep fighting the good fight, friends.