Denarii Monroe

Bio

Denarii (rhymes with “canary”) is an aspiring screenwriter, freelance writer, and a weirdo. She's a Rutgers University alum and a two-year Pace University dropout; she studied English and Adolescent Education, respectively. She's written for BlogHer, Black Girl Dangerous, and Everyday Feminism. Follow her on Facebook, find her on Twitter and Instagram ([at]writersdelite). Mad selfies, pictures of her dog named Dog, raving about Matthew Gray Gubler, and ranting (or retweeting) about the writing process and racist, ableist, classist, fat-antagonistic heteropatriachary. She loves Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as well as soul food, red wine, cooking and baking, and the blues. Hanson is her favorite band ever (yes, that Hanson).

Denarii Monroe Articles

I just wasn’t getting signals that I was as safe as I needed to be. Image: Thinkstock.

My Therapist Fired Me — And I'm OK With It

My therapist of six months — let’s call her L — was letting me go. It was so subtle that I wasn’t even sure what was happening; I had to ask.

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It can be hard to understand how to support people in general, let alone those who seem to be struggling. Image: Thinkstock.

Tough Love: Not Always A Great Way To Help People Succeed

Some people will need more scaffolding to tackle their problems. Others, like some plants, are best left mostly alone and will eventually flourish on their own. You have to gauge a person’s needs and meet them where they are.

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"I had to learn how to properly and safely detangle kinky-curly hair. I had to be patient in the process of discovering what my hair liked and needed — and what it didn't." Image: Thinkstock.

Having Very Curly Hair Is Challenging, But Not For The Reasons You'd Expect

I had to learn me because I was never given a chance to. People often act like this is easy or shouldn't be hard to grasp, but when you've literally spent your entire life not even knowing what your real hair feels like, it takes time to get used to that, especially when you have no one and nowhere to go to for solid advice.

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I love you. Image: Llywelyn Nys/Unsplash.

On Activism: An Open Letter To My Peoples

And when you're multiply marginalized and know how much work there is to be done in the struggle for liberation, how few people are doing it, and that our lives literally depend on it, it can feel like you’re letting your people down.

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The reality is that we think, act, and experience and see the world differently. Image: WOCinTech Chat.

Writing Culture Has An Ableism Problem

As storytellers, disabled writers have thousands of stories inside of us, some related to our disabilities and some not. Some of us are lucky enough to have some sort of outlet for our words — in public and/or private spaces — while others still struggle to find the voice that lives within.

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"I spent quite a few of my preteen and early teen years enjoying taking pictures. But because of the combination of racism, fat antagonism, and lookism, I wasn’t always comfortable getting in front of the camera." Image: Thinkstock

The Right To Be Ugly: How Lookism Affects My Ability To Be Carefree

[W]hy must the acknowledgment of my beauty be predicated on how well and how often I contort to attempt to fit into some kind of ideal? Why can’t I be all the iterations of me and still be beautiful?

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"We’re painfully aware of the fact that we’re “the only one” in the room, or one of very few. Don’t make it worse." Image: Author

3 Ways To Avoid Tokenizing People (Because I'm Sick Of It)

It’s like being a deer in the headlights. You’re in imminent danger. You know it. But you can’t move. You can’t speak. No reaction whatsoever. You just stand or sit there, frozen in time, waiting for the crash.

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Boundaries are key to healthy relationships (Image Credit: Thinkstock)

Struggling With Personal Boundaries? Check Out Our 'How To' Guide

You can create boundaries for many things. For example, your communication needs (what works for you, what others need to know, what you can’t tolerate, etc.), your limits in the bedroom, or even when your employer or employee is allowed to call or text you. They can be established for romantic, familial, platonic, and professional relationships.

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With almost a decade of various kinds of activism under my belt, I am more than familiar with the important work that Planned Parenthood does.

I Visited Planned Parenthood For The First Time At Age 29

It had never occurred to me to visit [a Planned Parenthood].... And yet, in a culture where the rights and healthcare needs of people assigned female at birth are constantly under attack, it’s easy, even for someone like me, to have warped ideas about exactly what one will experience.

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image credit: Thinkstock

Alternative Activism: 3 Ways To Get Involved That Aren't A Rally

Activism can seem intimidating, all the more so for those with accessibility issues of various kinds. There are myriad numbers of disabilities which can affect how we can (or can’t) engage in activism.

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