Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

The cake isn't a guarantee.

My Marriage Almost Didn't Make It. So Why Are We Still Together?

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

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No-No-No-Notorious.

Notorious RBG Kicks Ass

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.

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This picture was too weird not to use.

15 Women's Magazine Headlines That Are Totally Real

What’s That Smell? Sniffing Out Weird House Odors

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The easiest pets of all.

How To Choose The Right Pet For Your Particular Level Of Laziness

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

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1:54 PM: Stephanie has the softest hands in the universe.

Massage Therapy: A Minute-By-Minute Account

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.

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This is the Heimlich, not a hug.

Important Adult Things You Should Learn To Do In 2016

Perfectly Karaoke Or Lip Sync A Song: You may think this is less important than the other items on the list. You are wrong.

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Perhaps not this dramatic. Image: <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Elizabeth_Taylor_in_Cleopatra#/media/File:1963_Cleopatra_trailer_screenshot_(11).jpg">Wikimedia</a>

Dear World: Should I Get Permanent Eyeliner?

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

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How much do these tests REALLY tell us?

Standardized Tests: Intelligence Indicator? Load Of Crap? Worth The Stress?

Standardized tests are taking over the world. I can say this because it is true. Like a creeping vine that seems attractive and charming at first, tests appear to be reasonable for the data and direction they can provide.

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Plus, you might get to meet the Greendale crew. Image: NBC

I'm A College Professor Who Thinks You Shouldn't Go To "Regular" College

The other magical thing about living in 2015 is the Internet. You can get great training in all kinds of fields while sitting in your underwear at home.

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Having to walk carefully to avoid wedgies? Not helping any of us be our best selves. Image: Thinkstock.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Buying The Correct Size

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

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