Eliana Osborn

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

I’m terrified of wrongful imprisonment. To be the only one who knows the truth and have to live every day in a cell, wondering, why, god, why? [...] Sitting hooked up for gadgets to monitor every aspect of my mind and body, in a small room without any distraction, I see how a person could lose herself — or the truth — for a moment.

The other magical thing about living in 2015 is the Internet. You can get great training in all kinds of fields while sitting in your underwear at home.

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Proud of you for heading to rehab, leaving the kids, the man, the house — all of it — to get on top of things. Doing it instead of just thinking about it, talking about it even, hemming and hawing? That’s pretty badass.

The most important things my mother taught me included work from Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, Wham! and Whitney Houston.

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

Help.

84% of full professors in America are White. In case you were unsure, that does not match the overall makeup of the country or the student body.

Full-fat dairy may be “healthier” for you than low-fat dairy. “May” be, as in, probably is, like with numbers and science and stuff.