Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

Are you serious?

Schools Are Not Sexism-Free

I’ve got two tales of hideous male behavior — at the elementary school, somewhere typically full of good vibes and happiness and all that.

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Enjoy the silence... And sleeping on the couch.

My Husband Bought Noise-Canceling Headphones...And I Have Feelings About It

I always have a small piece of my brain on mom mode, no matter what else is happening. I have no problem with this, since that is how humanity has survived.

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No-No-No-Notorious.

Notorious RBG Kicks Ass

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.

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"There's nothing strange nor mysterious about menstruation." Preach, Disney.

Annie Ruined Everything: The Best/Worst Menstruation Films Of Yesteryear

In this film, we got to walk backstage with the young Broadway actress currently playing Annie. She explained the rules for taking on the role: Once a girl started her period, she couldn’t be Annie.

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How much do these tests REALLY tell us?

Standardized Tests: Intelligence Indicator? Load Of Crap? Worth The Stress?

Standardized tests are taking over the world. I can say this because it is true. Like a creeping vine that seems attractive and charming at first, tests appear to be reasonable for the data and direction they can provide.

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Yes!

What I Learned From Year Of Yes, Shonda Rhimes' New Book

The most important things my mother taught me included work from Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, Wham! and Whitney Houston.

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WAAAHHHHH. Image: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/261516465/baby-collar-clips-pins-brooches-cardigan?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=baby%20gift%20creepy&ref=sr_gallery_12">Etsy</a>

7 Gifts For New Moms You Want To Hate You

Sick of hearing about your friend's perfect pregnancy?Give one of these amazing gifts at the baby shower and you shouldn’t have to worry about this anymore.

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It's the most wonderful time of the year... Image: <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Anchorage_winter_sun.jpg">Wikipedia</a>

Growing Up In Darkness: Home For The Holidays In Alaska

In Anchorage, Alaska, there are 5 hours, 27 minutes of daylight on December 21. The good news: The numbers only go up for the next six months. The bad news: December 22 has merely seconds more light.

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Pictured: Numbers 5 and 6.

The Parts Of Parenting That Don't Suck

When I’m staring at the wall trying to keep my cool when my 6-year-old is hysterical about the tiny bump on his finger, I attempt to channel some of the good parts.

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I try to contain my fears, my own insecurities. I want them to shine, even as I’m terrified watching them climb and jump and dream.

When My Kids Go Onstage, I'm More Frightened Than They Are

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

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