Eliana Osborn

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

Eighteen hours, even if prepared with reading and art material, snacks, and an upgrade to China Airline’s family couch seating, is still EIGHTEEN HOURS.

Best case scenario? A few hours of activity, then we all fall asleep comfortably. Worst case? Well, let's just say it involves blood splatter on those weird double-paned airplane window.

Look, Connect Four is not a good game. But it can be over quickly, which is pretty great.

The other magical thing about living in 2015 is the Internet. You can get great training in all kinds of fields while sitting in your underwear at home.

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

You may have heard the term "bromance" and tried to wash your ears out with bleach (bad idea). Sadly, scientist types heard the word too.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

1. Borrow a child.

My sister Liz is full of wisdom, like my favorite quote I’ve shared with practically everyone I know: “Every pair of underwear has two good sides.”

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.