Eliana Osborn

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

Look, Connect Four is not a good game. But it can be over quickly, which is pretty great.

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

Perfectly Karaoke Or Lip Sync A Song: You may think this is less important than the other items on the list. You are wrong.

Help.

Don’t listen to horror stories about airplane tantrums. Listen to me while I let you in on the secret perks of seeing the world with kiddos.

If he were an a--hole to my kids, things would be easier. But he’s not. He’s good with them. He’s his best self. It makes me alternately happy and heartbroken.

When did I discover that sterilization isn’t as cut and dry as it seems? While sitting in a hospital gown, signing my life away, awaiting surgery.