Eliana Osborn

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.

Look, Connect Four is not a good game. But it can be over quickly, which is pretty great.

The most important things my mother taught me included work from Neil Diamond, Billy Joel, Wham! and Whitney Houston.

They were horrible.

When I’m staring at the wall trying to keep my cool when my 6-year-old is hysterical about the tiny bump on his finger, I attempt to channel some of the good parts.

Help.

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

Eighteen hours, even if prepared with reading and art material, snacks, and an upgrade to China Airline’s family couch seating, is still EIGHTEEN HOURS.

Best case scenario? A few hours of activity, then we all fall asleep comfortably. Worst case? Well, let's just say it involves blood splatter on those weird double-paned airplane window.