Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

Unlike Dr. B, Dr. Frasier Crane is listening. Image: Wikipedia

I Don't Hate People...But I Hate My Psychiatrist

I cried every single day of my life until I was 18 years old. I did not know this was abnormal.

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All kinds of students at all kinds of schools are unable to make ends meet.

Starving Doesn't Make You Smarter: A Case For Food Pantries On College Campuses

A new, exciting trend is to have food pantries for college students. I talked to an AmeriCorps volunteer running one of these centers and she was matter-of-fact about the need — and how little is being done. Today’s college students may be young and single, living la vida loca. But more and more are what we call ‘nontraditional’: slightly older, employed full-time (or close to it), supporting a family, a veteran, etc.

Hunger for nontraditional students doesn’t mean surviving on ramen: It means they are not the only person in the household who's in need.

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Might as well face it, you're addicted to...long hair.

I Cut My Hair And Never Looked Back

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

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How much do these tests REALLY tell us?

Standardized Tests: Intelligence Indicator? Load Of Crap? Worth The Stress?

Standardized tests are taking over the world. I can say this because it is true. Like a creeping vine that seems attractive and charming at first, tests appear to be reasonable for the data and direction they can provide.

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Pictured: Numbers 5 and 6.

The Parts Of Parenting That Don't Suck

When I’m staring at the wall trying to keep my cool when my 6-year-old is hysterical about the tiny bump on his finger, I attempt to channel some of the good parts.

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1:54 PM: Stephanie has the softest hands in the universe.

Massage Therapy: A Minute-By-Minute Account

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.

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Image: Tumblr (of course)

An Open Letter To The Snotty Bag Boy At My Local Grocery Store

Really, you should thank me. I’m just protecting your future self.

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We all need people who believe in us.

Loving Is Hard

How do you love someone who continually does things to hurt himself? I’ve been holding a phone with my stoned, sobbing brother on the other end for nearly 20 years. I keep picking up the pieces, keep having my heart break, because he’s my brother.

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I'll pass on the Pledge, thanks.

I Don't Say The Pledge Of Allegiance And I Want My Kids To Stop

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.

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