Eliana Osborn

Eliana Osborn

Bio

Eliana Osborn is a writer and part-time English professor living with her family in Arizona. She spends too much time in the sun and will someday publish her novel in progress.

Eliana Osborn Articles

The author and her sister.

The Strange, Strong Bond of Sisterhood

My sister Liz is full of wisdom, like my favorite quote I’ve shared with practically everyone I know: “Every pair of underwear has two good sides.”

Read...
Plus, you might get to meet the Greendale crew. Image: NBC

I'm A College Professor Who Thinks You Shouldn't Go To "Regular" College

The other magical thing about living in 2015 is the Internet. You can get great training in all kinds of fields while sitting in your underwear at home.

Read...
I try to contain my fears, my own insecurities. I want them to shine, even as I’m terrified watching them climb and jump and dream.

When My Kids Go Onstage, I'm More Frightened Than They Are

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

Read...
See what we did there?

5 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Getting Your Tubes Tied

When did I discover that sterilization isn’t as cut and dry as it seems? While sitting in a hospital gown, signing my life away, awaiting surgery.

Read...
My poor, authoritarian conservative father nearly had a heart attack. Image: Youtube screenshot.

Sexy Songs Are Nothing New

After this, I’m not going to be able to complain about Meghan Trainor and having to teach my son that "All About That Bass" is talking about girls with big booties.

Read...
BAWSE.

#RavReads: My Life On The Road, By Gloria Steinem

My Life on the Road (or MLR) is not what I expected...the idea of not waiting for experience to come to you permeates the book.

Read...
Perhaps not this dramatic. Image: <a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Elizabeth_Taylor_in_Cleopatra#/media/File:1963_Cleopatra_trailer_screenshot_(11).jpg">Wikimedia</a>

Dear World: Should I Get Permanent Eyeliner?

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

Read...
Notice how young she is...

Things I Can't Do Now That I'm Nearly 40

I’m not there yet. But I need to be honest—I’m closer to 40 than any other multiple of five.

Read...
Having to walk carefully to avoid wedgies? Not helping any of us be our best selves. Image: Thinkstock.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Buying The Correct Size

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

Read...