Eliana Osborn

84% of full professors in America are White. In case you were unsure, that does not match the overall makeup of the country or the student body.

When I’m staring at the wall trying to keep my cool when my 6-year-old is hysterical about the tiny bump on his finger, I attempt to channel some of the good parts.

Size, like age and salary and whatever else, is just a number. Pretending numbers don’t measure things isn’t helpful. I’m 38 years old: That isn’t good or bad, but it IS different from being 18 or 50.

I wanted to write a book last summer. Then I realized what a terrible goal that was and modified accordingly.

We take weekend turns. He does vacations and summers. Literally. He takes them away. It is great.

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

I always have a small piece of my brain on mom mode, no matter what else is happening. I have no problem with this, since that is how humanity has survived.

...But not in the way you'd think.

Kirk Cameron in all his Growing Pains glory was the ideal crush. Unthreatening, goofy, good kid with very reasonable weekly conflicts. And a good smile. Always been a sucker for that.