Eliana Osborn

I’ve developed a fast and furious passion for the new Daily Show host, Trevor Noah.

I’m full of emotions: pride, awe, fear, nerves. The spelling bee first, then the piano recital. Two different kids, same mom. Same me, wanting to prevent my boys from pain and discomfort. Same me, biting my tongue and smiling broadly in support.

I’m not alone in being troubled by how people suddenly disappear in life, right? That’s essentially why the internet was created. You may have heard rumors about Al Gore inventing it for military purposes... Lies!

How do you love someone who continually does things to hurt himself? I’ve been holding a phone with my stoned, sobbing brother on the other end for nearly 20 years. I keep picking up the pieces, keep having my heart break, because he’s my brother.

If you kill a tortoise, even on accident, you probably shouldn’t have children.

I’m a sucker for an interesting woman, so Notorious RBG is obviously my sort of book.

Help.

Perfectly Karaoke Or Lip Sync A Song: You may think this is less important than the other items on the list. You are wrong.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

I’m not broken by this therapy failure. Jane wasn't the person to help me at this point of my life. Someone else WILL be.