Eliana Osborn

My main reason for doing reading testing, enduring a bus ride to a field trip about weapons engineering, and other thrills? Stalking.

It is hard to find any real numbers about how many people do "direct sales" or how much money they make. The web is full of either big promises or pissed-off former sellers. What I do know, from bazillions of friends and family, is that making much more than pocket money means selling like a real job. Yes, it might be more flexible, but there’s no magic formula.

Look, Connect Four is not a good game. But it can be over quickly, which is pretty great.

Your partner will make you want to throw up at some point. Pure, unadulterated disgust.

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.

Is anyone else with me on this? White foods are NASTY.

Eighteen hours, even if prepared with reading and art material, snacks, and an upgrade to China Airline’s family couch seating, is still EIGHTEEN HOURS.

Best case scenario? A few hours of activity, then we all fall asleep comfortably. Worst case? Well, let's just say it involves blood splatter on those weird double-paned airplane window.

I’m proud of you right now, even with all the sadness. Proud of you for heading to rehab, leaving the kids, the man, the house — all of it — to get on top of things. Doing it instead of just thinking about it, talking about it even, hemming and hawing? That’s pretty badass.