Eliana Osborn

What’s That Smell? Sniffing Out Weird House Odors

I’m terrified of wrongful imprisonment. To be the only one who knows the truth and have to live every day in a cell, wondering, why, god, why? [...] Sitting hooked up for gadgets to monitor every aspect of my mind and body, in a small room without any distraction, I see how a person could lose herself — or the truth — for a moment.

I’m not a fan of repeating things over and over so that they lose their meaning. "Pledge: a solemn promise or agreement." It is that extra level, the solemnity, that makes me uncomfortable with casual usage.

Sometimes the nicest kids turn into whole new people when they come over to your house.

When did I discover that sterilization isn’t as cut and dry as it seems? While sitting in a hospital gown, signing my life away, awaiting surgery.

I’m not there yet. But I need to be honest—I’m closer to 40 than any other multiple of five.

I’ve got two tales of hideous male behavior — at the elementary school, somewhere typically full of good vibes and happiness and all that.

I look tired when I stay up too late. I also look tired if I get eight hours of sleep.

1. Borrow a child.

Self-care is important. Massages are a good form of self-care. Too bad I keep thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner.