Eliana Osborn

Eighteen hours, even if prepared with reading and art material, snacks, and an upgrade to China Airline’s family couch seating, is still EIGHTEEN HOURS.

Best case scenario? A few hours of activity, then we all fall asleep comfortably. Worst case? Well, let's just say it involves blood splatter on those weird double-paned airplane window.

There are some days of parenting that are magical, full of unicorns and four leaf clovers and lottery winnings. Those are the moments when I catch myself, just for a second, feeling content and happy and looking around trying to freeze things. Out of 7000 days, those maybe make up five a year.

Help.

You may have heard the term "bromance" and tried to wash your ears out with bleach (bad idea). Sadly, scientist types heard the word too.

...But not in the way you'd think.

Ray Nagin. Yes, the former New Orleans mayor who now has a criminal record. Let me explain.

Kirk Cameron in all his Growing Pains glory was the ideal crush. Unthreatening, goofy, good kid with very reasonable weekly conflicts. And a good smile. Always been a sucker for that.

I, like far too many women in this country and the world, have had a wide variety of experiences involving sexual harassment.

A haircut is a whole lot cheaper than therapy or tattoos or a round-the-world plane ticket.

I am going to have amazing posture. My neck will look so skinny just from the way I hold my head.