Kate Ryan

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

My parents got the idea they’d send me to stay at my grandparents’ house in Florida for a week. I think my mother needed a week to herself.

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

Writing simply does for me what long walks do for small dogs; it makes me tired and happy.

Everyone wants to have the funny tweets because people equate them with wealth, power, and beauty. The problem is, we’re not all funny.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.