Kate Ryan

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.

Recently, it was announced that the Ocean’s Eleven remake will be ladies-only too. Could it be that we’ve embarked on an era in which women take center stage?

Motherhood is easily the toughest, most sacred job on earth. Without moms, the human race simply wouldn’t be here. But personally, I’d rather dangle myself from dental floss over a volcano full of spiders than push another human being out of my body.

For the record, I didn’t mean to be born so tall. I didn’t ask for bulky shoulders or a head that doesn’t fit most hats.

Alison learned from her grandmother how a plastic smile could take you places—especially in a place like Hollywood.

Sheila applied widely and on a whim. She needed a job and she needed one fast.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

"No self-respecting journalist or publication would ever hire someone who employs the word 'sh--' as a title for anything."