Kate Ryan

Everywhere you look these days (on Instagram), beautiful pictures abound. From teacups overflowing with succulents to smoothie bowls arranged as art. All while a lavender-haired model casually eats ice cream in front of a stupidly gorgeous Tahitian sunset. All this endless beauty has become a bit dull.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

Writing simply does for me what long walks do for small dogs; it makes me tired and happy.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

The bread had to be store-bought and white, of course, so as not to raise a red flag among my classmates. I still see rebellion in a ham sandwich.

She knows you’re not supposed to call it an “it,” but she honestly can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl or . . . undecided.

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.

Sheila applied widely and on a whim. She needed a job and she needed one fast.