Kate Ryan

Hollywood continues to flounder in a dick-sucking frenzy of self-congratulatory white male directors, writers, and producers.

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

The bread had to be store-bought and white, of course, so as not to raise a red flag among my classmates. I still see rebellion in a ham sandwich.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

Recently, it was announced that the Ocean’s Eleven remake will be ladies-only too. Could it be that we’ve embarked on an era in which women take center stage?

There are some hipster things that hipsters want us to love, so we’ll join their cult. But we’re done falling for these things because we’re all unique individuals. Here are 10 things you need to avoid right now if you don’t want to be a hipster.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.