Kate Ryan

Surviving the Apocalypse didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy a little romance.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

Okay, so maybe she didn’t really understand feminism.

She knows you’re not supposed to call it an “it,” but she honestly can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl or . . . undecided.

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

Hollywood continues to flounder in a dick-sucking frenzy of self-congratulatory white male directors, writers, and producers.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.

A bloated mother in her polka dot one-piece gnaws on a corndog while reading the romantic pulp she picked up on her way out of the supermarket . . .