Kate Ryan

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

For the record, I didn’t mean to be born so tall. I didn’t ask for bulky shoulders or a head that doesn’t fit most hats.

A bloated mother in her polka dot one-piece gnaws on a corndog while reading the romantic pulp she picked up on her way out of the supermarket . . .

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

She closed in on the open pores enlarged ten times their normal size by a high magnification pocket mirror.

It was a tradition of theirs. When siblings Sue and Johnny went home to their mother’s for Christmas, they watched the 11 o’clock local news.

The Gap come autumn: where normcore and film noir cleverly collide.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

Alison learned from her grandmother how a plastic smile could take you places—especially in a place like Hollywood.