Kate Ryan

Writing simply does for me what long walks do for small dogs; it makes me tired and happy.

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

We all love our dogs. However, some of us take it a little too far, convincing ourselves that our dogs are actually our children. You call your dog your “baby” one day, and the next thing you know, you’re pushing him or her down the street in an expensive stroller. How did we get here? Trust me, it’s a slippery slope. Here are 12 signs you might have a dog-child.

Fresh orange juice, milk, thick slices of ham, a block of cheese, a carton of eggs—her husband kept it this way should this moment arrive.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.

She knows you’re not supposed to call it an “it,” but she honestly can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl or . . . undecided.

She got too high while watching The Bachelor and had a misanthropic breakdown.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.