only children

Should We Have A Second Child? From the moment the first baby was born, I’d been obsessing about a sibling: When will my period come back?

"When is there going to be baby number two?" It's a familiar question to those who opt to have an only child. But it's no one else's business whether or not I have another child.

I know of people who find one child incredibly challenging and seem to hate the whole experience. And yet they proceed to have another child willingly.

I wonder about these decisions. For me, I would be a terrible mother if I had another child.

I know motherhood is hard. Especially new motherhood — those early days are a fog of tears, confusion, and helplessness. But I also know that yearning for something you can’t have, particularly with regard to children, is a feeling far worse. I’ve lived through the pain of childbirth, of a 3rd-degree tear, two related surgeries and a year of recovery, of postpartum depression, of miscarriage and of infertility and my god; I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if it meant a chance to… Well, to do it all over again.

I had all my parents' attention, all the time. Yes, it felt a little much at times, but it also made me a great conversationalist. Hanging out around adults was calming. They didn't pull my hair or push me over to grab a toy. They didn't spit on me or break my things. They had self-restraint. (And they responded well to stares.)