Love

Do you remember that incredibly awkward feeling you’d get during childhood when you went over to a friend’s house for dinner and their parents started arguing? This was like that — only your dick is out and you got caught having sex with one of the parents.

With every 2 AM wakeup cry and biohazard diaper blowout, I waited for that all-consuming love that everyone had promised me, but all I found was exhaustion, frustration, and confusion. All my girlfriends were posting on Facebook about how beautiful their newborns were, how their hearts were bursting with love, and how they had felt an instant connection. So what was wrong with me?

Our culture is so preoccupied with The Other, and the obsession with falling in love with a foreigner is just another manifestation of that. But I quickly found out that falling in love with someone from another country is not all fun and glory.

How do you love someone who continually does things to hurt himself? I’ve been holding a phone with my stoned, sobbing brother on the other end for nearly 20 years. I keep picking up the pieces, keep having my heart break, because he’s my brother.

Hitachi! I stash thee in my drawer

About a year and a half ago, I started having something a little strange go down in my nether regions.

Leo women are phenomenal. They love to run the show in their household, and in the bedroom. A Leo woman loves to be adored, caressed and (most importantly) have great sex. She doesn’t want to leave the bedroom until she’s satisfied, so she needs a man who can keep up with her.

Many of you have asked for a companion article that offers some advice for those who love an ACoA (Adult Child of an Alcoholic). So here I am, humbly.