Four Steps to Snagging a One-Night Stand

First things first: being a sex researcher just might be the best job ever. They’re paid to comb through the twisted cockles of people’s minds to discover just what makes our nether regions tick! Sex is such a juicy juggernaut of bliss and ball-gags, of bustiers and bellowing orgasms – if we didn’t didn’t love writing so much, we’d head right into sex-science fray.

Anyway, enough of our envy.

In a recent study published in (you guessed it!) The Journal of Sex Research, science has parsed out your oh-so-suave pick-up moves into four simple steps.

1. It all starts with this sexy phrase: non verbal seduction. Ladies, you’re guilty of doing this just about all the time. Nice work. Like proud male peacocks strutting their iridescent feathers, women tend to dress in a way that gets attention if they’re looking for attention. And no, this doesn’t just mean barely there outfits with underboob everywhere or pants so tight your p*ssy is gasping for air, you judgmental Judy you. It just has to be eye-catching and flattering. Maybe you’re a retro dress lovin’ gal with a penchant for polka dots or a tenacious tomboy who feels fierce in doc martens; whatever your style, ya gotta work bitch.

2. From here, visual seduction comes into play. You had a trusty word for this in high-school: eye fucking. Shake it sista’

3. Naturally, the verbal seduction comes next. Apparently, men are all about this step and might approach it from one of a few angles: overtly sexual (damn you got nice tits!), complementary (your eyes are like flickering fire girl!), or observational (wow, it’s loud in here!) Suave.

4. If you like what you’ve seen and heard, the final step is referred to as “acting” and it entails making a damn move. It may start with a playful brush on the arm, a coy kiss on the cheek, or a crotch-grab. (Depends on your style of wooing.)

So what are you waiting for?! Now that you know the secrets, go, um, do something.


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