Clay Aiken to Run For Congress, Forgoes Singing Stardom for Delusions of Political Grandeur

If you've been wondering what Clay Aiken's been up to these days – touring? guest starring? entering rehab for twerk-exhaustion? – wonder no more.

He’s running for Congress! Yes, you read that right.

The elfin singer is the latest celebrity to toss his hat into the political ring ... and while he's certainly an odd candidate, he's by no means the first. Every time we hear about a famous face heading into politics, we go through a particular cognitive process:

Phase I: Surprise (Worlds colliding! Politics are so, um, sordid, why on earth would anyone)

Phase II: Confusion (But celebrities aren't actual people—they simply undulate between being gods and hot messes)

Phase III: Creeping Doubt (What could they possibly know about social and fiscal policy? Actual politicians already struggle with that.)

Phase IV: Acceptance (OK, I guess this person is a human afterall)

Phase V:  Morbid curiosity (How is this going to play out?!)

Phase VI: Loving/loathing (I will now categorize them into the binary of my political worldview). The fact that we go through this mental evaluation is one of the major reasons celebrities have a leg up on ordinary mortals in campaigning: we already know who they are. 

This translates to several major advantagesOne, key name recognition — so voter's don't simply choose a mystery person with a (D), (R), or (I) next to their name on the ballot. Two, a monetary advantage—they don’t have to spend a lot to gain recognition, they typically can afford to worry little about personal expenses, and they can more easily attract donors.

Three, more media campaign coverage (Arnold Schwarzenegger announced his Calif. gubernatorial bid on the Tonight Show, and former SNL star Al Franken’s celebrity-friend endorsements created media fodder in his Senatorial race). Still, history indicates that even with all their high-profile glamor and (supposed) charm, celebrities still have to demonstrate political credibility — gasp! — an issue that even the ol’ Gipper, Ronald Reagan, struggled with.

But good news for Aiken fans—political commentators approve of his campaign’s emphasis on his background as a special ed teacher (who knew?!) rather than his entertainment starpower. So we may experience a future world where we can listen to Aiken’s emotional cover of “Bridge Over Troubled Waters," while watching the man, the myth, the legend himself on CSPAN.

Apex of civilization?

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