Beard Implants: How Far will a Hipster Go?

A new trend has emerged in men’s grooming that, well, sort of has us traumatized.

Many of us can appreciate the sexy scruff that comes with a loosely-maintained shave, but beard implants? Really? 

Not surprisingly, the hipster-saturated NYC neighborhoods of Williamsburg, Bushwick and Park Slope boast the highest volume of customers.

These procedures don’t come cheap, with some implants pushing the $7,000 mark. But then again, who else, but a 2014 hipster would be able to shell out that much cash for a hirsute accessory to thrift store plaid and 20/20 glasses?

This latest stunt is just one in a series of douchery, along with sipping PBR as if it’s a fine wine and lying about ever watching cable. We’re just not following — how is this attractive?

While we can clearly see how ridiculous beard implants are, they’re actually pretty tame in comparison to many of the procedures women undergo in the name of “beauty.” It should be just as easy to point out the utter insanity of liposuction, butt implants, and vaginal reconstruction. How have these things become (mostly) accepted by society as normal — sometimes even encouraged? Are the beard-hungry hipsters of New York doing us a favor by holding up a mirror to our own insane beauty ideals? 

Even though we readily criticize, condemn and shun celebrity female figures who go under the knife, we don’t see their actions in the same ridiculous light as men who commit themselves to cosmetic surgery. We don’t point and laugh, questioning their femininity — we fully recognize they are attempting to enhance it, whereas a male who undergoes a procedure experiences an often-unspoken undercurrent of doubt about his virility. Surgically enhanced females, on the other hand, are mostly understood as women doing (arguably, misguided) womanly things. 

Perhaps, even if it just a glimmer, there is hope that idiocy such as the hipster beard transplant will make an impact on women — and force us to face the effects of our own gaps in self-esteem. 

Image: Wikimedia

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