Breaking "news"! 50 Cent threw a terrible first pitch at the Pirates-Mets game last night, prompting the Internet (but of course) to explode with judgment and horror. OK, so maybe he completely missed home base. And yeah, it really wasn't the best.
To quote some of his more creative bashers:
"The pitch was so bad, though, it makes me think it might have been intentional. It HAD to be intentional."
"The situational lefty was not 'In da Strike Zone,' missing way high and outside."
"Move over John Wall, there's a new first pitch fail for everyone to laugh at."
Well, well, well. Seems we have a lot of mockery on our hands. So does this mean 50 Cent will be forced to ditch his old bullet-proof vest in exchange for an insult-repelling suit?
Nope. Because this entrepreneurial rapper definitely gets the last laugh.
Here's why: in our capitalistic society, money ultimately wins. And 50 Cent's net worth is a sweet as sin $125 million. That means he's worth the pay of the top five highest-paid baseball players—Alex Rodriguez, Johan Santana, Cliff Lee, Vernon Wells and Mark Teixeira—combined.
50 Cent's cool response to the rather silly backlash over his pitching fail? "I'm a hustler, not a ball player." While the nation laughs (side note: how many of you could actually do that well?), he'll be practicing the breast stroke in his pool of gold.
Image: Can you just hear his multi-million-dollar heart breaking? Courtesy of, Facebook