Beyonce Replacing Benjamin on the $100 Bill? Hell Yeah.

So at that fateful speaking event in Kansas on Wednesday when Obama beseeched the GOP to “just stop hatin’ all the time,” another interesting thing happened. The president mentioned a young girl’s letter he’d received. And gee whiz did this lil tyke have an epic, stellar idea. In fact, it was an idea up there with that whole sliced-bread one: she suggested we put women’s faces on American currency. (We suppose we’ve just been too jaded to even think of it.) 

Even better though? Obama’s response: "And then she gave me like a long list of possible women to put on our dollar bills and quarters and stuff, which I thought was a pretty good idea." Ef yeah it is! 

Of course, the interwebz being the interwebz, exploded with opinions on the matter. 

A round-up:

From New York Magazine, siting Slate’s incisive point that Andrew Jackson should be removed from currency for his “engineering of the genocide of Native Americans, hating paper money, and generally being an asshole” they opted to swap out his ugly mug on the $20 bill for a lady. Their ideas? They ranged from the historical (Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks) to some, well, out-of-the-box options. . . like Kim Kardashian, Oprah and Taylor Swift. We like how you think, guys.

For its part, Vox agreed with the let’s-ditch-the-testosterone-y $20 bill (see: aforementioned Jackson-was-a-giant-dick-monster theory) for some of that sweet, sweet XX-chromosome charm. Their suggestions, however, were a bit more conservative than, um, Kim Kardashian. Instead their “strong choices” were Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Ida Wells. All, great, obviously. But then they said they were “sure if the US Congress put its collective minds together they could come up with more great options,” and that we have to wonder about, given the whole suing Obama thing and, you know, shitting the bed on an immigration bill today. 

Anyway, The New Republic also had a little brainstorm on the matter—and apparently it was quite contentious. Conceding that the list is “anything but comprehensive” TNR rolled out their options (spanning bills from the $100 to the $1, which is an idea we like even better than sticking to just the $20—fuck Andrew Jackson though, ferrealz): Harriet Tubman, Amelia Earhart, Rosa Parks, Shirley Chisholm, and finally . . . Hillz! All of their selections come with reasoned explanations. . . except for Hillary about whom they say: “OK, we're not going to lie. We're trolling you a bit here. But as the potential first female president of the United States, it's hard not to wonder if having her face on the dollar bill might not be in Hillary's future . . .”

We really couldn’t be more stoked about well, any of the above options, were they actually to be realized. But what are the odds . . .? You guessed it! Kinda shitty.

What does it take to get on a bill? You know, that general shit women have been precluded from doing—being a president, being a founding father, that kind of stuff. And the government hasn’t exactly been proactive on switching up our monies. Which is to say, we’ve had the same faces on our bills since . . . 1929. You know, when women had only had the mere right to vote for less than a decade?

That said, there was one woman on our paper currency back in the day—like way back in the day. Our first First Lady Martha Washington was featured alone on the $1 silver certificate in 1886. For a glorious ten years, there she remained . . . until (and this is going to remind of a trend that is real familiar) she was moved to the back of the bill . . . next to her hubby. And that’s the best we’ve done . . . in entire our history. (And yes, Sacagawea and Susan B. Anthony, who are both super important, were featured on coins but weird coins that no one has any goddamn idea what to do with).

So what do y’all think? Were American currency to undergo a radical, estrogen-drenched transformation, who would be your pick? 

Personally, I’m torn. I think the Notorious RBG would look damn fine wearing her dissenting collar on the $100. But then again, Beyonce is Queen Bey and her oft repeated assertion that girls run the world, would definitely make for lasting inspiration—a reminder of which would be tucked neatly in our wallets!

In conclusion, the options are endless—and literally any lady would do over that asshat Andrew Jackson.

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