Have you ever been that girl? You know, that one who trips into a subway car sloshing coffee onto some stony-eyed chic bitch clad in all-white attire? Or that girl who downs four appletinis whiskey shots and slurs "I love this song!" at a high octave before slipping off her barstool to dance . . . only to hit the beer-soaked floor?
With seven billion pairs of eyes (potentially) watching, it's hard for a girl to make it through the day without a few crushing humiliations. Thankfully, we've stumbled upon a handy little product that eliminates at least one of these pitfalls: the much-dreaded mismatched foundation.
And while none of us would admit to having been this kind of girl—me? never!—let's just say you know what I'm talking about. Often, foundation is either too dark, so it looks like some mild form of leprosy; too light, evoking bleaching gone awry; or too thick, so the head looks attached to another body. You get the picture. And it's not pretty. In fact, 73% of women claim it's difficult to find the right foundation, and particularly to select the appropriate—as in non-diseased-looking—shade.
Sometimes it's not even her fault! She just waltzes into her local CVS/Bloomingdales to buy some new makeup for her trip to the Jersey Shore/Fiji. Her new foundation makes her face look flawless and—we're not gonna lie—her ass looks Kim-Karsdashian-tight in that new bikini. But three days into her sun-swept beach trip, she reaches into her cosmetics bag to swab on a little foundation for a night on the town, only to discover that—goddamn it!—the brand-new makeup clashes with the new, tanned her.
Wince.
Even weather can lead to this dreaded mismatch malady. Apparently, 72% of women don't change foundation shade each season, even though the skin changes color throughout the year. (Hot damn, it's hard to be a lady!)
As for why we care in the first place, the foundation bind traces back to—you guessed it—biology. Because the skin becomes more uneven and blotchy with age, an even skin tone suggests youth, vitality and the promise of baby-popping fertility.
Well, fret not dear Ravishers—Face Atelier has heard our collective cry of woe and answered it with Ultra Foundation, an adjustable foundation. Pick your base foundation and then a bottle of Zero Minus or Zero Plus to make the shade a little lighter or darker depending on your face du jour. Whether you're eye-singeingly, why-oh-why white, bronzed darker than a drug-addled diva in Vegas, or just, ya know, normal, now you can always have the right color.
So, please, for the sake of all people everywhere, banish those raccoon eyes forever!
Trust us, it's not a good look.
