While at the Arcade Expo, I was offered rewards untold to steal the tie of Billy Mitchell. Many minds break down on that stretch between despise and idolize—he was villain enough that his exploits escaped the confines of games media, and he become a hero in his elevation of our little scene. He let the light of the outside world in, becoming classical gaming’s Lucifer.
One could find themselves pining for Billy’s brand of eight-bit wickedness in the wake of GamerGate. Billy didn’t deal in threats or release the personal information of people he didn’t like. He was just very, very good at arcade games. But before he beat your high score, you had to wade your way through the world-class gamers he employed as henchmen, ever checking over your shoulder for old ladies carrying clandestine video tapes of his exploits, which blow your exploits out of the water.
At least, that’s the narrative peddled by King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, the documentary in which social misfit and underdog Steve Weibe overcomes his lack of self-confidence, the economy, and having to wipe his children’s butts to dethrone the world record Donkey Kong score of Billy Mitchell—who directs a team of spies to thwart Weibe at every turn from his home in Hollywood, Florida.
Billy embodies the life that the modern nerd feels he has been systemically denied by society: financially successful, a snappy dresser, an abundance of social graces. His hair is perfect and he always knows what to do with his hands when speaking.
Ergo: Whether or not the film is factual by any stretch, people on social media were pleading with me to accost a total stranger and steal a piece of his clothing at the recent expo in Banning, California. In front of hundreds of people.
But after three days of meat and cheese in the arid and agape mouth of hell that is Southern California, I was barely in a condition to undress myself, let alone an unwilling man taller than me.
Thus, upon meeting my idol of affable malice, I offered him a trade.
I would buy two bottles of his hot sauce—which bear reference to the selfsame film that calls him the bane of all that is good and virtuous—in exchange for a short impromptu interview.
Just one question.
“Only if it’s a tough one,” he said. “I don’t do the easy ones.”
How do we make games more inclusive for women?
There is a transcription beneath the video.
The man in the stripey shirt, who looks at me like I've just shit a live scorpion when I ask if women belong in games, is Walter Day, the founder of Twin Galaxies and former big cheese of video game scorekeeping. The two were at the expo to commemorate the setting of the world record for most people playing pinball simultaneously.
Props to H. Hwang, my camera man.
Billy: Basically, the opportunity is there. And, although I think women have just as big a role, unfortunately, when women reach an age, say, twenties, they tend to be a little more mature, and a little more of a mature point in their life. They tend to have greater responsibility. They tend to have less disposable time, let’s put it that way.
So women more often do the right thing in life than I do, which is tend to that which is precedent: family, children, their homes. So basically, when a woman has more free time, then I think they compete and they play just as well as men. But I think “nature” itself steals time from women because I would be laughed off the stage if we pretended like women weren’t greater nurturers, that they didn’t tend to it more, and that they don’t have a greater responsibility in the world.
You have to yell at nature, not me.
I one-hundred percent applaud—and admire—women who succeed, because I think it’s more difficult than it is for a man. OK? I think it’s more difficult for a woman who’s a minority, let’s say, Hispanic. Because of the nature I spoke of—and I’m sorry to stereotype the world—which shouldn’t exist, it isn’t fair. And, that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
Jetta: Thank you very much, Billy.
Billy: Does that mean I did good?
Jetta: You did great. High score!
Billy: But I’m sorry to say . . . it shouldn’t be that way, but it is.
Jetta: Thank you very much.
Billy: Come on, give me another tough question. What are you—and make it rough!
Jetta: Now is—
Billy: I think the old guys, who are dinosaurs, who think a woman’s place is back here—I mean, eventually they’ll all die, and you won’t have to worry about them. Because the idea, like—I own a business, and I would hire a man for this much and a woman that much—that’s the most absurd gesture I’ve ever heard! That ‘s like—I’ll be honest here—but that’s just because I was raised in a matter that never even came to be a part of conversation. But when it’s part of people’s culture because they live in some backwards trailer where they married their cousin—that just has to work its way out. Come on, give me some tough questions!
Jetta: Best controller layout?
Billy: The best controller layout would be the one I got the world record on. Each time. And that’s dodging the question, but that sounds really good. Where’re you from?
Jetta: I’m originally from Germany, but I live in Oakland.
Billy: OK. Yeah, so you came a little distance. I talked to people—“where do you live?” “Oh, I live over in, uh—" “—oh, you could have hitchhiked and got here."
Jetta: Nobody lives in Banning.
Billy: Yeah. The rest do. That’s probably why everything’s going on here now. But um, we’re trying to—we were talking about what person came the greatest distance that had to drive. Cause the few of us that flew in . . . [to Walter, indicating Jetta] Originally from Germany.
Walter: You’re from Germany?
Billy: Now, I gave the storybook answer, and it’s true from my heart—how do we get and promote and push and justify more women in gaming? You’re in the hot seat.
Walter: How can we justify getting more women in gaming?
Billy: See now he repeats it ‘cuz it gives him time to think about . . .
Walter: More women are in gaming. Well . . . that’s the answer.
Jetta: And do women belong in video games?
Walter: Of course! They can do whatever they want.
Billy: Come on, a little more detail for the camera.
Walter: That’s enough.
Jetta: He calls them like he sees them. Right down the middle.
Walter: It’s very simple. Women game. More women play games than men.
Billy: What are you trying to say?
Walter: I have no idea.
