Kermit is basically the world's best boyfriend (Sorry, Ryan Gosling)
There's no better man . . . errr, puppet . . . than Kermit.
Many of us are questioning the longevity of love in the 21st century thanks to the recent slew of Hollywood romances that sizzled up this summer. The split that's most shocking is between one of the longest relationships in Hollywood, spanning over 40 years.
No word yet if either Muppet has their eyes on new lovers, but not to worry. There shouldn't be a lack of potential suitors, especially for our favorite amphibian. While Miss Piggy has gained a reputation over the years for being high maintenance, Kermit the Frog has maintained his southern, down-to-swamp charm despite his international stardom.
As a single woman who isn't excited about most of the tadpoles out there, I sympathize for how intimidating it can be to leap back into the dating pond, even for America's favorite frog.
But reentering the game should be easy for Kermit because he embodies the makings of the perfect boyfriend (including soft, snuggly fabric).
Here are the top 10 reasons why Kermit the Frog is now Hollywood's most eligible bachelor, especially with George Clooney out of the running:
1. Kermit owns his emotions and isn't afraid to show them.
Being able to have an open dialogue about feelings with your significant other is vital to any healthy relationship. Kermit has never shied away from expressing his emotions.
Not many men openly profess their love for their friends and family as frequently. But wearing his heart on his sleeve has been one of Kermit's trademarks, guaranteeing the absence of passive-aggressive comments and mind reading assumptions in your relationship.
2. Kermit's a loyal friend to people from all walks of like.
Known as the leader of his gang of furry friends, Kermit has had the same close-knit circle of comrades who have been by his side since the start of his career. Despite having ample opportunities to ditch them for a more A-list elite crowd, Kermit has continuously included his pals in all of his Hollywood adventures.
Always encouraging his friends to go after their dreams, he's been responsible for many of them scoring their first big break in Hollywood. You won't have to worry about fitting in or avoiding awkward conversations when hanging out with Kermit's friends. There isn't a friendlier group of people to be around who will instantly make you feel like part of the family.
And that one friend you have who's always getting into some sort of trouble? Let's just say Kermit's moved the Electric Mayhem to Colorado to keep them all out of jail for good. (Or something like this?)
3. Kermit believes in feminism.
During his decades with Miss Piggy, Kermit championed her as she built her own fashion and fragrance empire. Most men of his stature would've been intimidated by her larger-than-life personality and aspirations, but not Kermit.
He was comfortable enough in his own green skin to let Miss Piggy do her. Whether it was bringing her own flare to Muppet productions, exploring the outer reaches of space, or working the paparazzi with her dog Foo Foo, Kermit never tried to compete with her for the spotlight.
Even if your passion isn't related to show business, Kermit will totally do everything possible to help your dreams come true, without feeling threatened or emasculated.
4. Kermit doesn't crack under pressure.
As Kermit has openly confessed over the years, it's not easy being green. Being the leader of the world's most beloved entertainment troupe is stressful, especially when it involves an eccentric cast of characters.
When it's 3AM and a situation is getting sticky, Kermit will come to the rescue without being judgmental. He has a strong track record of getting himself and the gang out of predicaments.
From wrongful incarcerations, scheming businessmen, and family feuds, his even-keeled temperament always allows him to rally his friends to save the day. Even in the time of grief after his best friend Jim Henson suddenly died in 1990, Kermit was the one that held his friends together and encouraged them to continue making people laugh even though their future was unclear.
5. Kermit has never forgotten where he came from.
Most people with Kermit's level of fame treat their humble upbringings as an afterthought, but he's always been opened about #SwampLife. Little about his personality has changed from the days when he traveled by lily pads instead of limousines.
Giving kudos to those responsible for making him into the frog he is today, Kermit has always praised Nanny, who cared for him and several of his friends during the Muppet Babies years, for laying the foundation of his trademark imagination. No need to be ashamed of your past or early start when it comes to this relationship.
Bonus: No matter how awful you think your upbringing was, chances are your childhood home was a lot cleaner than a muddy swamp.
6. Kermit loves adventures and never turns down a travel opportunity.
With plenty of years spent taking his show on the road, Kermit has ventured more miles than most airliners. From the sandy beaches of Kokomo to the wilderness of the Rocky Mountains, he's the most well-traveled frog on the planet.
Chances are, he'll probably know people living at whatever spot you're vacationing and will be able to offer the inside scoop. And maybe if you're lucky, he might just let you in on how to get to Sesame Street after all these years.
7. Kermit continues to expand his horizons to be the best version of himself.
To have a long lasting show business career, a person needs to have the adaptability and finesse to endure multiple re-inventions in order to complement whatever the trending appeal is in pop culture. Society has changed drastically since Kermit's black and white debut on Sam and Friends in the early 1960s.
Over the years, he's kept his act fresh by trying new things, including recording cover songs with his friends, giving TED Talks, and even becoming the focus of his very own meme. The only other celebrities with similar limelight staying power are Betty White and Cher.
Come September, Kermit and the rest of the Muppets are returning to prime television. Last time the Muppets appeared on the small screen, selfies were nonexistent and # was still considered a pound sign.
Kermit's openness to change and willingness to go outside his comfort zone has kept his star power shining. No doubt this amphibian will be willing to work on ways to keep romance alive as your relationship evolves.
8. Kermit is kid-tested, mother-approved.
It's almost impossible to meet a child who doesn't light up when they see Kermit the Frog (except if they have an irrational fear of frogs or Muppets, which is a whole different story).
He has years of practice teaching kids life lessons, from mastering the alphabet to the power of emotions during his stint on Sesame Street. Additionally, Kermit has played a huge role in raising his nephew Robin.
He'll make a fantastic father figure to any child that's important in your life, and perhaps to his own tiny tadpoles one day.
9. Kermit is the perfect boyfriend to bring home to meet Mom and Dad.
Introducing a new beau to your family is terrifying at any age. The good thing is that there's a high probability that most people will be familiar with Kermit the Frog and won't feel the need to Facebook-stalk prior to being introduced.
With a thick skin formed from being in show business, he's sure to be a good sport about third-degree questioning and ribbing from your well-meaning family members. Kermit also has plenty of experience dealing with high-profile celebrities that guest starred in Muppet productions over the years, including his most recent ex, so even the strongest personalities in your family tree won't phase him.
Within minutes, everyone will be charmed by America's favorite frog as he leads the entire family into a sing-a-long of "The Rainbow Connection."
10. Kermit has been there every step of the way.
It's common to feel a familiar connection to celebrities, even though you've never met them. But Kermit and the Muppets have been part of our lives since the very beginning.
I have fond memories of spending mornings before preschool watching Kermit act as the newsflash reporter on Sesame Street, and falling in love with New York after renting Muppets Take Manhattan from Blockbuster. And the Christmas season doesn't officially start unless I've sung along to "The Muppets Christmas Carol."
As an adult, nothing brought me more joy than bringing my 4 year-old niece to watch her first Muppet movie in theaters when Muppets Most Wanted came out in 2014.
Kermit the Frog has been part of our families for years, and will be introduced to a whole new generation this fall. Because of this familiarity and history, it will be easy to breeze past the "getting to know you" phase of the relationship.
We'll just have to see if Kermit will fall smitten for a an "it" girl like Taylor Swift, or if he'll try to find a lucky lady outside of the spotlight (my email address is linked to my author bio if that turns out to be the case).
But it's safe to say that Kermit won't have to make an online dating profile.
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