Kate Ryan

Alma couldn’t understand why her Yelp reviews were so dismal. She didn’t advertise herself as a magician. She was a hair stylist.

Everyone wants to have the funny tweets because people equate them with wealth, power, and beauty. The problem is, we’re not all funny.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

She couldn’t imagine the water she sat in, the water that enveloped her body, wanted to be here.

I have no choice but to start all over again, tomorrow or not at all.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.