Kate Ryan

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

Motherhood is easily the toughest, most sacred job on earth. Without moms, the human race simply wouldn’t be here. But personally, I’d rather dangle myself from dental floss over a volcano full of spiders than push another human being out of my body.

The birds abandon their posts in the pepper trees, sending tiny, oblong leaves raining to the ground.

My tights are cutting me in half at the waist . . . just like a sausage in its casing.

Fresh orange juice, milk, thick slices of ham, a block of cheese, a carton of eggs—her husband kept it this way should this moment arrive.