Kate Ryan

“You are the naked girl on horse, yes?” he said, approaching her table from across the café patio.

Someone would always cook in their tighty whities, his package at eye level for the person doing French homework at the kitchen table.

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.

As an Uber driver, I have the privilege of talking to and eavesdropping on a sampling of L.A.’s finest, ranging from the clinically insane to the simply self-absorbed. As a writer, there is no end to the amount of inspiration my passengers provide.

Okay, so maybe she didn’t really understand feminism.

One crawled up the side of the bag and opened her wings, a hardtop convertible with legs.

Everywhere you look these days (on Instagram), beautiful pictures abound. From teacups overflowing with succulents to smoothie bowls arranged as art. All while a lavender-haired model casually eats ice cream in front of a stupidly gorgeous Tahitian sunset. All this endless beauty has become a bit dull.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.