Kate Ryan

For all of you crazy people that think going to Target is ever a good idea during the holiday season, this is a list on how to survive a shopping trip to Target is for you…

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.

She gropes for attention while he dies in the other room.

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

The case of beer I brought, as my mother explained, is “pure poison” and so I must drink it all by myself.

His mind rode the lines, circling on an endless loop to nowhere as he attempted to go about his activities.

"No self-respecting journalist or publication would ever hire someone who employs the word 'sh--' as a title for anything."

Surviving the Apocalypse didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy a little romance.

She knows you’re not supposed to call it an “it,” but she honestly can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl or . . . undecided.