Kate Ryan

Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.

Hollywood continues to flounder in a dick-sucking frenzy of self-congratulatory white male directors, writers, and producers.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.

She closed in on the open pores enlarged ten times their normal size by a high magnification pocket mirror.

She doesn’t know how to communicate the feeling that all is for nothing, nothing is normal.

Everyone wants to have the funny tweets because people equate them with wealth, power, and beauty. The problem is, we’re not all funny.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

The Gap come autumn: where normcore and film noir cleverly collide.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.