Kate Ryan

Hollywood continues to flounder in a dick-sucking frenzy of self-congratulatory white male directors, writers, and producers.

Recently, it was announced that the Ocean’s Eleven remake will be ladies-only too. Could it be that we’ve embarked on an era in which women take center stage?

My parents got the idea they’d send me to stay at my grandparents’ house in Florida for a week. I think my mother needed a week to herself.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.

She closed in on the open pores enlarged ten times their normal size by a high magnification pocket mirror.

Okay, so maybe she didn’t really understand feminism.

Like booster engines emptied of fuel, my limbs become disposable, useless tanks as the blood rushes from them.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.