Kate Ryan

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

I saw my old babysitter at a women’s wrestling cage match.

There are some hipster things that hipsters want us to love, so we’ll join their cult. But we’re done falling for these things because we’re all unique individuals. Here are 10 things you need to avoid right now if you don’t want to be a hipster.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

"No self-respecting journalist or publication would ever hire someone who employs the word 'sh--' as a title for anything."

She closed in on the open pores enlarged ten times their normal size by a high magnification pocket mirror.

Eva, having stayed up the whole night preoccupied with death and time, planned to call in sick.