Kate Ryan

“Don’t you smash that cake in my face, or I’ll never forgive you,” she said, and she never did, not really.

It was a tradition of theirs. When siblings Sue and Johnny went home to their mother’s for Christmas, they watched the 11 o’clock local news.

At Monster High, Jimmy Werewolf gets another demerit for forgetting to shave again.

I would send some chocolates, but I’m not allowed anymore since they found the shiv in the birthday cake I sent you.

Surviving the Apocalypse didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy a little romance.

He thought I was mad, but in an artistic way; I thought he was horny all the time, but in an artistic way.

She knows you’re not supposed to call it an “it,” but she honestly can’t tell if it’s a boy or girl or . . . undecided.

We’ve all been there. Your boyfriend has a raging boner, but you’re just not in the mood to do anything with it. But how do you tell him to tone that boner down and quick? No need to worry. Here are ten simple, foolproof ways to kill that boner in ten seconds—or less—while keeping your man’s ego rock-hard.

One of my biggest fears is having a random stranger ask me, "how it’s going?" They might as well ask if I’d like to step into their van and get murdered.

He died a violent death. I saw him myself, flopping between wooden blades, his head bent back strangely.