Rebekah Kuschmider

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

Legendary author J.K. Rowling is begging fans of her series about the young wizard not to purchase a handwritten, 800-word story she wrote as a prequel to the Potter tales.

This week, the golfer in chief launched TrumpTV, a series of Facebook live updates detailing the great state of the universe according to Donald Trump.

I was all set to write a lighthearted piece here about KFC’s new line of flavored nail polish. Yes, you did read that right. KFC has a line of nail polishes that come in “original recipe” and “hot and spicy” and they would LITERALLY make your nails finger lickin’ good. I mean OMG! Sadly, they’re only available in Hong Kong.

School robots are invaluable tools for students who need them part time and also for students like Randy, for whom they’re the only path to the classroom.

I want to know how much yoga a person would have to do to be able to vote with their vagina. And kegels. Sooooo many kegels.

I have zero interest in reliving the years of mutually assured destruction that characterized U.S.-Russian relations during my childhood. And I definitely don't want to do it with Kim Jong Un, who is far less level-headed than Mikhail Gorbachev. And I sure as hell don't want to do it with Donald Trump.

The MOTO Clear Plastic Straight Leg Jeans look exactly like the kind of clear plastic zipper bag a new comforter for your bed would come in, only pants.

Back in the old days, before the Internet was in our pockets, finding a vacation rental involved travel agents. Finding a vacation rental equipped with kinky sex equipment...Well, I don’t know how that would have worked. Luckily for all the fetishists out there, those dark days are behind us.

This means that if you are sexually assaulted in California after this law takes effect in January 2017, you have all the time you need to gather your strength to press charges.