childfree

Even though I know I have no business having a baby, it feels like a door closing on my fingers every time I see it happen to someone else.

Mostly, I feel happy with the freedom in my life. I exercise when I want, write, cook, read, and have peace from chaos. I'm 36 and I may never have kids.

The fact that childfree women exist is remarkable, apparently, and people really want to know how we got this way, as untoward and dangerous as we are.

Being a woman who does not want to become a mother is still a bit of a cultural anomaly in 2017.

At some point, it became apparent that there was something else I should want: a baby. It seemed everyone around me expressed a desire for tiny clothes and that distinct newborn smell and a life constructed around the rhythms of a particular kind of family. Yet, that’s not something I want, and it has never been, even when I was 13.

I never wanted children. When other little girls were playing with dolls, I played with stuffed animals. Even when I played house, my home was filled with plush puppies.

Whether or not to become a parent — or to try to become a mother — is one of the most defining decisions a woman faces. Yet, for some, it is not a decision her heart makes — it is one that her body makes for her.