faith

My depression coexists with my gratefulness, compassion, and good intentions. I am blessed, yes, but I am also depressed.

I was probably the most religious kid you ever met. I genuinely believed in God, the way that most kids believe in Sunday morning cartoons and rainbow colored fruit rollups.

I was terrified of falling away from the faith I once believed in so strongly. We had to believe in the miracles because our day-to-day lives were so empty.

For the first time in my life, I was lost after leaving Evangelical Christianity. I watched the shores of everything safe and familiar wash away.

For the longest time, it felt like a dirty secret that I needed to hide from everyone. I left the church to become a witch!

For the longest time, it felt like a dirty secret that I needed to hide from everyone. I left the church to become a witch!

The idea is that you can say whatever you want, but most people know that there is a general script to follow when bearing one’s testimony. Coming out as gay is not in the script.

On a practical level, being my own guru means that I trust myself. I can forgive myself when I make mistakes, and not get stuck in cycles of shame and despair. I can ask for help when I need it, and seek out important support like professional therapy and support when I can't get out of my own head.