What Is A "MealEnder?" (Is It Not Dessert? Def Thought It Was Dessert.)

MealEnders: A lame excuse for dessert.

MealEnders: A lame excuse for dessert.

Today in One More Thing You Do Not Need: MealEnders

What is a MealEnder? No, it's apparently not dessert. So right off the bat, the name of the product is misleading. 

From the MealEnder website:

"The common sense way to beat overeating, master portion control, and curb snacking using behavioral & sensory science."

I'm sorry. What?

MealEnders "break the behavioral cycle of overeating and snacking." By providing a "sensory cue for dessert, followed by a cleansing taste."

You know what else has a cleansing taste?


I just cannot even imagine the meeting that led to the creation of this product.

"Well Rhonda, here's what I think we should do. We should make some 'candy' that we can sell for like the cost of an entire meal and tell people that if they eat it, their desire to continue to eat actual food will go away."

"You know what, Jim? I think you're onto something here. I mean after all, who uses their body's hormonal signals anymore?"

Hey Rhonda and Jim, how about you stick a bag of MealEnders right up your dessert-deprived tush and just let people enjoy their cake. 

MealEnders come in four exciting flavors: chocolate mint, cinnamon, mocha, and citrus (key lime). The outside of the "candy" is a "sweet outer reward layer" and the middle? A "cooling/tingling center" which "engages the trigeminal nerve to clear the palate, cue the end of eating, and train your mind to recognize when it's time to stop." The only thing I approve of in that sentence is the appropriate employ of the Oxford comma. You know what else cues the end of eating? YOUR BRAIN. 

I DO love key lime, though. 

PIE. Key lime PIE.

Do not give me a tiny candy and tell me that is my "dessert." What kind of fool do you take me for? 

I get that people view overeating as a problem. I get that for many folks, bingeing is a real problem. But people, this is not the way. This is just the way for the person who invented this awful thing to make a lot of money off of desperate people who have been convinced that they are broken if they continue to eat. 

You are not broken. 

Wanting to have dessert does not make you broken. 

All this talk of dessert has made me want an Oreo


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