Ditch the B*tch: The Danger of Frenemies

Ladies, we’re not going to pretend that this is easy but we're also not going to pretend you don't know what were talking about.

Toxic friends. B*tches that for one reason or another have wended their way into your heart, only to become a source of anxiety, sadness, self-loathing or straight up, white-knuckled anger. Obviously you don’t want to be all Titanic about that insist there’s only room for me on this raft,”  – what a LIE! – you also can’t get your sweet self dragged into the depths of friend hell either. So, how do you handle it?

At this point you may ask why I even bother to keep this person in my life -- it's not exactly healthy. The answer is that I don't know. Part of me would feel really guilty in excising this person because she really is a sad soul, and because of her penchant for one-sided friendships she has very few left in her life. I know, I know, it's not my job to keep her afloat, but I keep holding out hope that she'll come out of it and be the person I liked so many years ago. – , xoJane

We're apt to follow Hung's advice: to start, isolate the problem. If your friend is consistently making little digs (“wow, you’re really going to eat that cupcake?”) see if you can detect a pattern. Do they seem to surround your appearance? Your career? Your sex life? 

Then evaluate. If her friendship means that much to you, note when and what she says. Fed up? Ditch the b*tch right now. Give her a proper send-off (you know where to tell her to stick it!) or do a fade-out (Yeah, I'm not doing the weekly Bachelorette dinner anymore – I'm going to be really busy for the next few weeks...)

Next, you’ll have to confront her, but gird your loins for the fall-out. You already know she's a lil' twisted. Explain how her comments are making you feel without directly accusing her of trying to hurt you. (That's key. B*tches be defensive.) Instead, ask her what is going through her mind when she acts this way. It’s easy to think, “she’s a jealous mean 'ol ho and I don’t need her,” but then again, you don’t know what’s going through her head or what she's going through. She may be deeply unhappy and totally unaware of how she’s treating others.

OK. So now you've had your heart-to-heart. So ... is she trying to be better? Has she cooled her jets and quit wagging her sharp tongue around? Hopefully, it's a resounding yes and we send you a virtual high five and booty bump.

No? Ugh, sorry. Until we patent our anti-toxic friend spray, you’ll have to find a way to remove yourself. If she’s dragging you down – despite your golden-hearted best efforts – it’s time to cut that B loose.

In the words of the wise, though often misunderstood, N*SYNC, “baby BYE BYE BYE!”

Image: http://www.heroinetv.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Mean-Girls-Burn-Book...

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