In true procrastination form, I found myself in the aisles of CVS yesterday to buy a last-minute Mother's Day card. And it didn't take long before I had my iPhone in hand, ready to document this not-terribly-surprising but still annoying truth: cards about moms are super-sexist.
First off, pretty much every damned card was awash in girly-girl pink. Even an otherwise-cool card about Wonder Woman was on a background of light pink overlaid with dark pink lettering. And then there was the glitter, oh so much glitter, sprinkled on top of the pink letters and dusted gently on images of blooming flowers.
But it wasn't so much the aesthetic of the cards that rankled, as it was the circa-1950s messaging within them. Here's what Hallmark has to say about the glory of motherhood:
Moms love to clean!
Aww, mom gets one day off from shitty household servitude!
The inside said something about a mother's love or whatever. But the salient point is: Moms = laundry! (Hey, at least it's blue.)
Moms are prudes!
Listen, I have nothing against getting a card for your mom that celebrates her hard work in the home or her efforts to curb your potty mouth, if indeed she's that kind of mother. But I could not find one single card that said anything of relevance to my own mom, who isn't particularly concerned about ladylike refinement or the presence of dust bunnies. Where's the card that reads, "Thanks mom, for holding down a more-than-full-time job while taking care of me?" Why can't Hallmark help me express the deep respect I have for my mom's badass career achievements or amazing sense of humor? For that matter, where's a card for moms who like (shocker!) blue?
One wonders what a Father's Day card photo essay would look like compared to this drivel. You can bet come June, we'll be on the case.
Non-related bonus card...because WOW