We’ve heard reports of Jesus in America, and now there are reports of a sighting in Japan! At least according to a set of apocryphal ancient religious texts—the Takenouchi Documents—supposedly discovered by Japanese archeologists (and Indiana Jones rivals) in the 1930s.
The texts claim Jesus had a brother named Isukiri (pretty convenient that he had a Japanese name), who took the fall for Jesus when things got dicey in Jerusalem, allowing Jesus to sneak off to a small village in Japan named Shingo. Here he lived a mundane, but happy existence: he became a rice farmer, got married, had three daughters, and died peacefully at the grand age of 106.
Don’t believe us? Check out the “Grave of Jesus Christ” located in Shingo. You can’t check out the original documents—they were destroyed during World War II, you see. And besides that would be cheating. But Shingo's Legend of Christ Museum does display a replica (we’re looking into whether the museum also sells Isukiri crucifixes). And that’s not all! The texts also describe the fate of Atlantis, and discuss the extraterrestrial origins of humanity.
Some claim many current Shingo residents are descendants of Jesus, pointing to supposed differences in their speech, customs and eye color indicative of Anglo lineage. Unfortunately, most historians agree Jesus’ ethnicity was likely to have more in common with modern Middle Easterners than Caucasians. A fact which presents the only hole in the otherwise airtight Jesus-in-Japan theory. So, if villagers do have Anglo heritage, it’s probably of the mere mortal variety.