Comedian George Carlin once joked that no one gets laid on Thanksgiving because "all the coats are on the bed" — which has some truth to it. It's tough to get your freak on when you've got a house full of company during the holidays, especially when they're planning to stay for an extended time.
Doing the nasty during the holidays has plenty of benefits for your health and your relationship.
"There are so many reasons to have holiday sex," says licensed psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle. "For some, it's relieving the stress of the holidays, the pressure, being busy and family, for others it’s the joy and excitement, or maybe even a combination. While your house may be filled with company, the impulsivity, sneaking away and trying to keep quiet to have some fun can be super hot and exciting!"
The key to getting it on while your in-laws are in town? A few sex positions that make quickies a breeze. Here are a few recommendations for positions that are great for a quick shag session amidst the holiday hype.
1. The Wet Reindeer.
If all the coats are on the bed, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist suggests getting steamy in the shower. “The shower can be slippery, but it’s the perfect spot for a quickie over the holidays," she says. If you want to have intercourse, try the "leg-up dog" position. Prop a leg up on the tub ledge and have your partner approach from behind. If you've only got time for oral, Dr. O'Reilly recommends the "inside-out" position. "The receiver stands in the shower and enjoys the cascade of water while the giver kneels outside of the tub or sits on the tub ledge," she explains.
2. Three Silent Spoons.
If making too much noise is a concern, sexologist Dr. Megan Stubbs says to try doing it spoon-style. “This position is low impact and shouldn't result in too much bed squeaking," she explains. "Your hands are free to explore each other, and you can use a toy on yourself to help reach orgasm."
Dr. O'Reilly suggests using pillows to help keep noise levels down even further. “If you want to sneak in a quickie before bedtime, try a spooning position with a third spoon: A pillow which you can use to muffle your sounds,” she says.
3. The Open Sleigh.
If a creaky bed is the only thing standing between you and some holiday action, co-founder Polly Rodriguez and the ladies of Unbound say to lose it all together. “Start off by signaling a bedroom rendezvous to your partner, and tell your family you're going to show them your high school yearbooks,” they say. “When you don't have a lot of time (or privacy), one of the sneakiest, most effective ways to romp is to 69 on the floor. Take that comforter that you had to have in high school but wasn't cool enough for college and get down to the floor. No squeaky bed needed.”
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4. Mobile Mistletoe.
Nothing makes you feel like a horny teenager again quite like getting it on in the backseat of a car. Dr. O'Reilly suggests sneaking out to your vehicle to steal some alone time with your partner away from the holiday chaos. “Grab the mistletoe when nobody's looking and sneak off into your car at night,” she says. “Car sex can be cramped unless you have a huge SUV, so try the ‘reverse ride.’ One partner sits in the front passenger seat with the seat rolled all the way back. The other sits on their lap, facing away from them. Use the seat-belts if you want to play with a little light bondage.”
5. Elf On The Shelf.
If you’re at a crowded holiday party, Dr. Emily Morse, creator and host of Sex With Emily says to look no further than a pantry or closet. “[Try] a standing position with one partner behind the other — facing the same direction works best,” she says. “You can use the shelves as leverage, and it also leaves the person in front open to manual stimulation to ensure both partners get to finish.”
This position also works well if you're dealing with a height difference. "If they are taller than you, they can spread their legs so it's easier for penetration and you don't have to climb them like a Christmas tree," says Dr. Stubbs.
6. Christmas Tree Counter-topper.
“Using the counter in the bathroom is a great tool for your holiday hookups,” says Dr. Stubbs. “For oral sex, take a towel and roll it up to place under your knees while you pleasure your partner. You can also use the counter to bend your partner over and have rear entry sex. Bonus points if there is a mirror where you can watch yourselves."
Dr. Needle seconds the countertop quickie. “The surface allows you to prop yourself up and allow your arms to relax and dangle," she says. "The angle can allow for deep penetration, and your mind is free to focus on your arousal or any fantasy you choose.”
7. The Spin Cycle Sleigh Ride.
Get your holiday chores done and have your orgasm, too. Dr. Morse says putting in a quick load of laundry provides the perfect opportunity and atmosphere for a quickie away from company. “Have sex on top of your washer or dryer, with one partner seated on top facing the other,” she says. “You can use the vibrations to your advantage pleasure-wise, plus the noise will cover any moans or other sounds of passion.”