I'm Turning 35 And Twitter Reminded Me How Old I Really Am

Twitter Signs That You're Getting Old

Twitter Signs That You're Getting Old

I'm a few months from turning ... hang on, I have a little vomit in my throat ... 35. I know, I know. It's not that old. But it's old for me, the woman who still geeks out over Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and has a tattoo of Super Mario on her finger. Yeah, that's right. What of it?

So even though I've been dreading the day in early October when the clock strikes midnight and I'm officially in my mid-thirties, I've been reassured by friends that it'll be OK.

35 is the new 25.

Yeah, OK, and I can sing "My Heart Will Go On" better than Celine freakin' Dion. (I actually think I can but that's for an entirely different day!)


Who else still thinks the 90s were only ten years ago? HOLLA!

Who else gets hot flashes so intense they wet their bed sheets? HOLLA!

Who else needs four different anti-inflammatory creams before bed to relieve arthritic pain? HOLLA!

If you holla'd with me, then you've passed the exam and get a badge of honor.

HAHA, just kidding. Back in my day, we didn't get participatory awards. We had to work hard for the shit we earned.

And then Twitter decided that today, #SignsThatYoureOld would trend all day. Because I'm a twitterholic (that's a legit thing, right?), I've been reliving my childhood all damn day. 

I've included my favorites here because I love you and know that you'll laugh at these like I did. And maybe pee a little, too because BLADDER CONTROL IS AN ISSUE, PEOPLE!

I can literally sing every word of every Madonna album, ever. Try me, I dare you!

I'm SUPER pleased I'm not the only that does this.

Two words: Rabbit ears.

Or cry ... deep sobbing, booger cries.


I wore out my Barbie Goes Shopping floppy disc on my Commadore 64.

Those were called the "Good old days!"



Every. Damn. Night!

Drake? I only know of a Drake cake and those were yummmmmo!

If you don't get my references, we can't be friends.


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