Ah, masturbation. One of life’s greatest cost-free pleasures. Can you really have too much of a good thing?
Screw manicures and blowouts: masturbation is the ultimate act of self-care. It’s good for your health, and you should be doing it all the time.
“Girls don’t masturbate, right? I don’t masturbate. Do you masturbate? Can girls masturbate? I don’t think they can — I’m pretty sure my mom doesn’t.”
Light some candles and use those bath salts you've been saving for a special occasion. Masturbate for 55 minutes.