For queer parents like me, meanwhile — although I know that my whiteness and my class affords me a degree of protection from scrutiny and interference — the threat of being deemed an illegitimate parent also serves to silence any discussion of mixed feelings.
I always wanted to be a mother. I loved kids and they loved me. The only problem was, my defective reproductive system didn’t get that memo.
I never was able to get pregnant. And after five surgeries and two failed rounds of IVF, it was a dream I had to let go of at the age of 28.
Pregnancy announcements are the norm all over social media. But for someone experiencing infertility, seeing those announcements can be triggering.
The subject of infertility is very private in our circles; it is just not something that is talked about in the open.
The subject of infertility is very private in our circles; it is just not something that is talked about in the open. I didn’t even tell my Hasidic parents.
I want us all to carefully consider the terms in which we describe our choices to others in order to pare them from implicit value judgments on other women’s choices.
I’m not here to scream from the other side of my parenting choice. What I want is for women’s choices regarding fertility to be supported, full stop.
Welcoming any baby is probably the single most emotional experience of the human condition. But welcoming a Rainbow Baby?
I was going to be left behind while everyone chatted about diapers and boppies and bonded over shared maternal experiences.
Miscarriage steals your ability to prepare for the future, to trust your body, your mind, and your support system.
What I’ve found there is sometimes amusing, sometimes helpful, sometimes exactly the support I’ve needed, and sometimes downright paranoia inducing.
"Would I be in pain forever? Would my periods ever regulate? Will we be able to have more children? And would I be forced to have a hysterectomy like my mother?"
A quick google search revealed that fibroids are noncancerous uterine growths. They can grow very large, cause extreme pain, and often lead to the removal of the uterus, like they did in my mother's case.