Image via Giphy
Am I the only one who doesn’t want to see poop or pus on my social media?
My Facebook feed was flooded with pictures of shit this morning.
You probably saw the disgusting photos of a doctor in China holding an enormous portion of a colon removed from an unfortunate patient whose disease caused pounds of poop to accumulate in his colon. I saw it way too many times as I scrolled. I’ve never heard of such a condition, and I guess it’s an interesting story. But I really don’t need the visual.
A few months ago, the Internet was overtaken by the spellbinding tale of the Montana man who survived not one, but two, attacks by the same grizzly bear. It was a breathtaking story of survival and fight.
And it was accompanied by graphic photos and video that Todd Orr shot as he was making his escape from the mama bear. I was enthralled by his story. I read every word. But I could have done without the gruesome photos and video of Orr’s gaping wounds and blood-streaked face. (BTW, who has the presence of mind to record that when running from a bear?)
These are just a few of the recent examples of the trend to post or share the most shocking photos we can find. Given how often these go viral, I might be alone in my disdain. Orr now has his own website dedicated to tales of the attack with even more graphic photos, and there’s obviously an audience for disturbing pictures.
I’m not talking about the heartbreaking photos of injured children in Aleppo or other pictures that show the frightening realities of the world. I’m talking about the people — you know who you are — who share the most ghastly photos with the rest of us... just because they’re gross.
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Everyone has their "things" they tend to post. I admittedly post a lot of pics of my son and his adventures. Take them or leave them. I will look at the multiple pictures of your cute kittens, your craft cocktails, and your perfectly prepared meals. I will be envious of the framed photos of your painted toes on the chaise by the pool, and your highly toned abs.
But, with apologies to my friends who may have transgressed, here are some things I do not wish to see on your Facebook. Or Instagram, or Twitter, or Snapchat. And especially not on all of them.
1. Your Injuries
This means your bloody gashes, your protruding broken bones, and especially pictures of your kiddos with the same. I will sympathize with you, and I will do what I can to help you, but please, wait until the cast is on or the stitches are in before you post.
2. Spiders The Size Of My Head
I know it scared the crap out of you. No need to pass that fear along to all your friends. Same goes for cockroaches and any other kind of bug that might crawl off my screen and into my brain. I’m itching and twitching right now just thinking about it.
3. Your Infections
Toenail fungus, oozing pus, blech. Even those words turn my stomach, so I don’t need to see the evidence. Get some antibiotics and some gauze and call me in the morning. If I need help diagnosing a problem myself, I’ll consult Web MD.
4. Anyone You Don’t Know But Who Would Be Embarrassed By The Photo
That means someone you deem ugly, poorly dressed, or "dumb." I don’t understand people who get a kick out of ridiculing someone. Remember the woman whose scooter had fallen over at the store, and some asshole posted a picture of her struggling to get unstuck? Not offer to help her up, mind you, just to snap a photo and post it. Four years later, she talked openly about how much it hurt that the photo was still going around.
Playboy model Dani Mathers was roundly — and rightly — shamed for posting a photo of a naked older woman in the locker room. She’s now doing community service and on probation after being charged with misdemeanor invasion of privacy. Be better than her.
5. Any Bodily Fluids
No diaper blowouts, no basements full of overflowing sewage, and for the love of all that is holy, no vomit. I don’t know why your toddler spread poop on the walls or puked up his pizza. I’m sorry you have to clean it up. But please don’t make me look at it.
If you feel compelled to keep posting pics that make me gag, I guess I’ll just have to scroll faster. I mean, I don’t want to miss those tropical vacation shots!