Just When We Thought Selfies Couldn't Get More Obnoxious, #Aftersex Selfies Take Social Stratosphere by Storm

Sharing inappropriate things on social media is pretty much standard issue these days. I've seen everything from feces to a semi-rotted umbilical cord on my Facebook newsfeed. Still, there's one reigning Instagram trend that evokes my gag reflex even more so: #aftersex photos. Yes. A post-coital selfie. Sometimes alone, sometimes with a goo-slicked cohort.

I mean yeah. We all look damn fine after a good roll in the hay: hair gently tousled, cheeks flushes, eyes pouting...you can't "maybe it's Maybelline" that shit:

Make-up is meant to simulate what a woman’s face looks like mid-orgasm. Reddish or dark pink lipstick mimics the way lips will engorge with blood. Blush mimics flushed skin. Eyeliner and darker eyeshadow will make the eyes appear half closed, hence the term “bedroom eyes”. — inktank.com

But yeah, fine or not, it's damn awkward. We won't knock you if you're into group sex, but—chances are—all 500 something of your social media followers sure aren't. Look, it's bad enough to imagine two of my friends doing the nasty. Seeing evidence of their dilated horndog pupils on my Instagram feed is just unnecessary. And don't you have family followers on social media? Pretty sure we've solidified the fact that no one wants to think about her little princess getting rammed from behind. Come on, don't induce nightmares.

Do you find yourself privately laughing at those people who incessantly "check-in" at the gym? It seems like both tremendous arrogance and insecurity, which is an impressive coupling. Sadly, you might be sending out the same message with the #aftersex tag. Exhibitionism about your "accomplishments" is a great way to say, "hey world! I sure feel inadequate in this area! or a pitiful (maybe successful) attempt at inducing envy.

We're all for you getting laid, loud and proud, but a coquettishly coy tweet will suffice—subtly is a lost art on social media.


Image: Bleh. No need to see. Courtesy of, The Sun




 

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