The Horror! Mississippi Sex-Ed Fails its Youth, Teen Pregnancy Still Staggering

The town of Oxford, Mississippi was a'shaking with fury this weekend over their local school's latest Sex-Ed curriculum. And no, it's not what you think. The state boasts a stomach-turningly high rate of teenage pregnancy—a third of all children born in the state are to teenage mothers—and parents were appalled at the "lesson" being offered to their children.

Apparently, a high school instructed the students to do the following:
1. Unwrap a chocolate (they say it was a Peppermint Pattie)
2. Pass the unwrapped chocolate around the classroom
3. Observe . . .

The goal was to show the students that doing this will make the chocolate dirty, melt-y, messy and generally kind of disgusting—which is, of course, what will happen to your self-worth if you are "passed around" by a numbing blur of anonymous lovers! 

Hate to break it to ya, but there's a much larger issue surrounding this disturbing metaphor and blatant use of misinformation. It wasn't even until 2011I know, that shit is scarythat Mississippi was even required to teach sex education in schools. Maybe they were just perfecting a curriculum for all those years? Haha. Nope. Turns out, this law requires schools to teach either "abstinence-only" or "abstinence-plus" courses in their schools. Because, you know, teens always follow advice from awkward adults wielding chocolate bars.

The Oxford school's sweet-swapping occurred in—believe it or not— in an "abstinence-plus" class, which means the lesson promotes abstinence to its students, but also relays information about contraceptive methods as well. With 76% of Missippi youth reporting they've had sex before the end of high school and the shocking amount of those teenagers becoming pregnant, clearly this "education" is failing.
 
Contrary to the ghetto excuse for being a jerk in the 00's, this isn't a situation where you should hate the game instead of the player. Abstinence-plus education isn't perfect, but it's not exactly a nightmarish machete slashing away at progression either. Actually, studies show that 83% of the programs who taught Ab-plus classes boasted students with increased knowledge of AIDS/HIV and 54% understood the value of those classic rubbers. Not only that, but 50% of the abstinence-plus groups studied also showed dwindling rates of unprotected sex after the course. Also wise to note, it was designed not to offend or isolate anyone.

Abstinence-only (until marriage) programs—the malicious stepchild of the sex education family—surprisingly! can't brag the same statistics. These programs promote virginity and have been known to ask students to make a virginity pledge. In the past, special interest groups have surveyed small groups to report data in hopes of showcasing success. Hilariously, even those studies failed to "prove" abstinence-only's worth. Those who pledge to stay like-a-virgin until the wedding bells ring rarely do so. While they will delay their sexcapades a whopping (not) 18 months, when they do have sex, they are one third less likely to use contraception. Helllllo STIs!

Speaking of that, even the "virgins" aren't safe. Among the non-deflowered folk, those who pledged their virginity in these classes are six times more likely to have oral sex than those who did not. Not done yet! Of that same group, dudes are four times more likely to have had anal sex. AND (we're so sorry) despite all of this, they're also less likely to use protection or get tested and treated for an STI. Why? We're guessing out of shame—and potential punishment—for caving into those boot knockin' desires. 

On the bright side, comprehensive sex education is correlated with safer sex: 60% of these programs reduced unprotected sex significantly. When sex isn't seen as something shameful, teens are safer.

Been on the prowl for a new philanthropic effort? How about buying every kid under 18 a one-way out of Mississippi...

Image: Nommm. Courtesy of Steven Depolo, Flickr

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