You came into the restaurant where I work and ordered a Stoli on the rocks. When I asked you and your companion if you'd be eating, or needing anything else from me, you put your hand—ever so gently—ON MY ASS and asked if you could take me 'to go.'"
So begins bartender Laura Ramadei’s searing open “thank you note” that’s been shared thousands of times on Facebook. It's addressed to Brian Lederman, the alleged perpetrator of the aforementioned gross, physical misogyny, whom she tracked down through a basic Internet search. In her Facebook note, she shines some light on that other side of the bar—the one fewer of us know about.
Unsurprisingly, according to Ramadei, “at a bar, it is impossible to ignore the fact that misogyny is alive and well.”
Ramadei, an NYU grad tending bar at Lucky Strike in New Your City to support herself while she pursues acting, expresses her gratitude for the bar’s “incredibly supportive coworkers and manager,” but notes:
“I still hate being a bartender. Over the years my knowledge and skill set have expanded, but I seem to be getting worse at tolerating the 'service' part. I deal with incredible amounts of entitlement, condescension, and drunk nonsense.”
Kind of like Brian’s. Who, by the way, works as a [drum roll please] hedge fund manager. And who actually gets even more charming in his response to the Facebook note. Here's what he said to the New York Post:
“‘I’ve grabbed plenty of girls’ asses in my life. But I’ve never grabbed hers.’”
And yes, the married 57-year-old financial titan does get more noxious:
“I clearly remember making a joke when the girl said, ‘What would you like.’ I kiddingly said, ‘I would like you to go with nothing on it.’”
LOL. Hilarious joke, amirite?
Hang on, because he then delves ever deeper into Assholeville with this response:
“That f–king c–t, for her to do something like that is pretty ridiculous. I will make sure she doesn’t get another job in New York City. I know everybody. The bar owners, the club owners—that’s a terrible thing to write about somebody.”
So yes, while invoking the c-word and calling the act of a woman standing up for herself a “terrible thing,” Brian is clearly the victim here. Ah, the joys of entrenched misogyny and its ever invisibility to the male eye.
But let’s end on a positive note. Thanks, Laura, for seeking to “raise awareness about how common this is.” That's a sentiment we can raise a glass to.