The Not Skinny Enough Excuse: Why Do We Wait For Happiness Until We Are Skinny?  

"Stop waiting. Go be awesome."

So many of us are waiting until we're skinnier. 

We're putting off dreams, big plans, and just plain old feeling good about ourselves until an elusive, future day when we think we will finally deserve what we want.

Do you do this?

Are you waiting to lose weight before you change careers? Quit your job? Ask for a promotion? Start that business you've always been dreaming of starting?

Are you waiting to lose weight before you let yourself buy and wear clothes you like? Are you waiting to lose weight before you feel confident at parties?

Are you waiting to lose weight before you let yourself enjoy food? Before you take that vacation? Buy a bikini?

Are you waiting to lose weight before you live your life the way you want?

It's a weird little thing we do...call it a mixture of cultural beliefs about body weight, and also pepper in a little dose of human fear and "convenient" excuses. Because we don't just do this with weight. We do it with other things too.

Once I get that job/salary and people respect me, then I'll relax. Then I'll be happy.

Once I meet 'the one' and get married, then I'll be happy.

Once I move into that house, then...

Once I have that haircut...

Once I have children...

Once I win that award...

It's human nature to think that way...that we'll be happier and finally live our lives on a future day when we finally have what we want. We think we will finally be who we want. And weight is one of the most insidious and loaded examples of that.

We think it's true. But it is not. 

We think weight somehow affects or reflects our value. We think weight affects our ability to contribute in meaningful ways. We think weight is the cause of our suffering, and that once we can control it we will finally feel wonderful and embody our best lives.

And thinking this way really screws with our quality of life.

Here is a little secret: happiness doesn't happen that way.

And if you've ever lost weight under that way of thinking, maybe you'll recognize this phenomenon:

You'll be very temporarily blissed out, but then something strange will happen...it isn't enough. The weight isn't good enough. You all of a sudden feel like you need to be even thinner, or fitter, or prettier before you're actually good enough. And you also start panicking that you will gain weight and lose all of the value that you think you have gained.

It puts you in a pretty nasty cycle of valuing yourself for your weight. And you never get around to living that awesome life you deserve, because you are still too worried about becoming even more perfect before you do.

And one day you will look back and wonder why you didn't live the life you wanted to live.

Wow I was beautiful and young...I can't believe I let weight stop me from living the life I really wanted to live.

And it's gonna be tragic. So don't do that! Learn to value yourself now, and stop waiting on weighing a certain number before you really live.

Here are two helpful things to do to kickstart this:

1. Really stop and ask yourself: What am I waiting to be skinnier for?

Going to the beach?

Putting your voice out there?

Just plain liking yourself?

Get super honest.

Then commit to doing all of those things now. That way, no matter what your weight is through the years, low or high, you will be living an awesome, badass life. You won't be waiting.

2. Look up and follow plus-size models and activists on Facebook and Instagram.

Just in case you think you can't like yourself or do amazing things, or look badass in a bright red lipstick, these ladies (and men too!) will prove that you're wrong.

Looking at women living their awesome lives at every weight will show you how much you can too.

Seriously. Stop waiting. Go be awesome.

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