I was such a dipshit in my 20s when it came to sex. If I had a nickel for every orgasm I faked, I wouldn’t owe Uncle Sam an arm and a leg in student loans. TBH, it makes sense that we’d adopt some unsavory sex practices in our younger years. What else are you supposed to do when you’ve been told your entire life to please your partner and just go along with it?
Your 20s can be a shy time. You don’t know how to ask for what you want because you fear rejection. Fuck that. It’s time to leave that shit behind.
A little disclaimer here: This piece is mostly directed towards my incredible, strong fellow females. It seems pretty fitting, considering we’re the ones who are famously catering to those around us in the bedroom for most of our youth. Hopefully one day we wake up, get over it, and take charge of our bodies and pleasure.
Cheers to letting go of the bullshit so we can enjoy sex, live our lives, and be the hot, sexy women we always knew we could be. Here are all the sex practices you should leave in your 20s forever and always until the end of time. Amen.
1. Not asking for head.
Too often in our 20s, we don’t want to ask for head. We’re nervous or scared. We’re scared this dude will say no or think our vaginas smell weird. Screw being self-conscious. Your natural scent is amazing and he should be chomping at the bit to go down on you.
We all like head, so ask for it. It’s a part of growing up to take charge of your sexuality and actually walk away from every single sexual encounter satisfied. If you want him to mop your box, you tell him.
2. Feeling self-conscious about a one-night stand.
Those feelings of shame and regret should be left behind in your 20s, because we are far too fierce, mature, and fabulous to wallow in that shallow self-pity. Let it go, baby.
There is NOTHING wrong with casual sex. It’s a part of maturing and learning about your body and what you like. You are a gorgeous, amazing woman who loves sex. Embrace it, use a condom, and live your best life. And if that dude tries to shame you for your sexuality: FUCK THAT GUY.
3. Giving blow jobs without any cunnilingus in return.
First of all, he should be going down on you every single time you have sex, especially if you return the favor.
Everyone deserves to enjoy their sexual experience and everyone deserves to have an orgasm. If he expects you to S the D and isn’t down to L the C in return, don’t have sex with that guy again. It is selfish and rude.
Your vagina is a magical flower of life and beauty and any guy who doesn’t want to be face deep in that honey pot like a drunk pizza at 2 a.m. is not worth your time, honey.
4. FAKING ORGASMS.
FUCK THE MALE EGO. We tiptoe around it because we’re told we have to from an early age. It’s part of the oppressive, patriarchal society’s judgment and values that have been burned into us, since the time we were children.
Repeat after me: YOU DO NOT AND SHOULD NOT PRETEND TO COME IF YOU DID NOT. How is this guy ever going to learn how to please you if fake orgasms? He needs to be aware that he is fucking up, because men already know jack shit about orgasms and until sexual education gets its head out of its ass, we will just have to teach the men.
5. Giving a shit about taking a stride of pride.
If you already stopped the aforementioned faking of orgasms, you probably asked for what you wanted in the sack, got it, and came your fucking face off last night. Girl, you get it. You are a grown ass woman now. There is no time for embarrassment after some casual sex.
Throw on one of homeboy’s button ups, tie it at the waist like Rihanna after the Grammys, and moonwalk the hell out of there.
It is a stride of pride (no shame included) and you EARNED it. Good for you. You’re killing it. Now go do your Saturday errands and get some brunch. Rock on, mama.
6. Having sex with anyone out of guilt or a sense of obligation.
Listen UP. If a man buys you dinner, a movie ticket, or literally anything at all: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM. You owe this person nothing. Having sex with someone out of guilt is only going to make you feel shitty and dirty.
If you’re going to have sex, you should only be having it because you wanted that D like a kid wants candy. There should be NO other reason. Leave that obligation-pity-sex bullshit in your 20s. You are way above that.
7. Acting like it’s okay that a guy doesn’t know where the clitoris is located.
THIS IS NOT OKAY. It is not okay if a guy doesn’t want to touch your clit. It is even more unacceptable if he doesn’t even know where it is. He’s a grown man, how does he know so little about the female anatomy?
Please stop acting like this is okay. You are doing yourself no favors here and you’re doing him a disservice by not giving him a heads up. Guide his hands where you need them to be, touch yourself or grab your vibe. Sex should end in orgasm. Always.