After three long years of being in what I thought was a very good relationship, I’ve found myself single again. I used to love being single before this relationship. I was great at being on my own. It took my ex-partner a solid four months to get me to agree to a relationship in the first place.
Sometimes, you take the plunge hoping for the love that lasts a lifetime — and it just doesn’t work out. It was a painful decision to end things, but it was for the best. At first, I didn’t see it that way. I didn’t understand why we were breaking up. It seemed so stupid and confusing. Why couldn’t we just work it out? Didn’t we love each other?
Well, as it were, anything worth saving shouldn’t take you convincing your partner that it’s worth saving. That should be your first clue when going through a breakup.
Being single might seem “scary,” but TBH, it rocks. If you know who you are what you’re about, being single isn’t terrifying; it’s an opportunity to love yourself and appreciate the glorious unicorn human you are. You don’t need companionship to be happy. If you do, that’s your first problem.
I’ll be 27 in the next few weeks, and obviously the departure from my mid to late twenties combined with my newfound singledom has lead me to make a laundry list of all the reasons why I’m happy I’m single again.
As it were, the list greatly outweighs any reason I might be sad. If we stopped buying into the idea that it takes a relationship to be whole, we’d all be better people.
Here are 46 reasons why I’m delighted AF to be a single woman:
1. Relationships consume so much time and energy, it’s unreal.
2. The time I now have to focus on my career.
3. Spreading out across the entire bed.
4. No more questioning what will happen in the future because I determine my own future.
5. No more self-doubt.
6. No more living in fear of the end — it already happened!
7. No more putting someone else’s needs above my own.
8. No more questioning whether this is the person I want to be with forever.
9. No more relationship anxiety.
10. Being able to do whatever the fuck you want is highly undervalued.
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11. Emotional labour in romantic relationships is exhausting, and the burden or performance falls on women the vast majority of the time.
12. Sex dates.
13. Actually having sex again.
14. No more pressure from dating because I get all my emotional support from my friends and siblings. Literally, I’m good.
15. No shitty couple’s Halloween costumes.
16. Actually enjoying Halloween because I’m not dating a shut-in anymore.
17. I can stay in or go out whenever I damn well feel like it, guilt-free.
18. Knowing I didn’t settle for something unworthy of me.
19. Making my own schedule.
20. No more taking care of someone else when they won’t take care of themselves.
21. No more fighting about stupid shit I don’t care about.
22. No more making a big deal out of stuff that I don’t think is a big deal.
23. All the money I’ll save on not having a wedding.
24. Never hanging out with my ex-partner’s awful friends ever again.
25. I can go on dating apps, or never go on dating apps.
26. Never having to share anything — whether it’s my secrets or my snacks.
27. Never doing a single thing I don’t like to make someone happy ever again.
28. You simply don’t need a partner to have children. This is a myth we’ve been fed. Motherhood is a powerful ability we possess as women (whether or not you're able to have biological children!) and if it's what we want to do, we don’t need anyone else to make it happen.
29. Answering to absolutely no one for anything is a beautiful thing.
30. Making out with a lot of hot people.
31. Relying on only myself financially.
32. Personal grooming is now 100 percent my own choice. Whatever I like, I’m going to do.
33. Eating whatever I want, whenever I want.
34. Realizing how sexy I am, with no need of validation from anyone.
35. Out with cleaning up after someone else.
36. Quality time spent with my vibrator(s).
37. If I wanted a puppy tomorrow, I could get a puppy tomorrow.
38. Never worrying about being woken up before I’m ready.
39. There will be no compromising on where I spend a single holiday. My family is clearly the superior choice.
40. Asking permission for nothing.
41. The liberation of sexual experimentation.
42. Being able to date women again. Thank god.
43. The adventurous edge my whole life just acquired.
44. Gaining the knowledge that not only is your worth not determined by your relationship status, but that you’re absolutely strong enough on your own.
45. The strength I had to cut all my hair off when my partner had asked me not to. And damn. I look amazing.
46. When you realize you are your own soul mate, you’re set free.