Allison Cooper

"The whining is getting annoying. Yes, I said it and you read correctly. It’s annoying to hear you repeat the same thing over and over about yourself, whining about how you need to change your eating habits, work out more, and hire a new trainer. Calm yourself and move forward with your life . . ."

Yes, I said it. I’ll sing it from the rooftops and admit the one thing that many moms might feel ashamed to say out loud: I live for nap time.

My fingers are currently grazing the keyboard as my arms reach around my four week old, who happens to be strapped to my chest in our BabyBjorn – which has been my saving grace these days. She’s sleeping soundly, but just moments ago she was wailing (I’m speculating that I have a colicky baby on my hands) and this is the only way that I can get my work done. No shower yet today (it’s 1 pm, gross), pretty much all I’ve eaten is a quick bowl of oatmeal (and of course coffee) and have been up for the day since 5am (plus countless feeding during the night). But I’m chugging forward. Yup, being a mom of a newborn makes me feel superhuman.

Make sure that at least twice a year you are getting rid of unused or old makeup — even your eyeshadow as these are laden with bacteria.

In theory, the concept of a new mom not being able to answer your phone calls and/or texts right away should be self-explanatory...

Don’t you think that this “trend” looks like the person wearing it woke up and just couldn’t decide on what color to wear — so she wore them all? I mean, color blocking is a great trend, but not meant to be worn on the lips. I am a very assertive person, I know what I want in life, and it doesn’t include a multi-colored sections of my face. Pass.

Dear Oldest Son, Life these days is all about dividing and conquering. I feel more and more like I’m dividing and conquering so many things.