Allison Cooper

I can't just embrace the chaos. I wish I could follow the advice: “Stop stressing, Allison, you work full time, stop comparing yourself to mothers who don’t." But I can’t help but to play that comparing game and label myself as the inadequate mom.

To any mom out there who is sick of repeating herself — I feel you. I feel you so hard. It’s a double edge sword, these reminders. They exhaust us.

My fingers are currently grazing the keyboard as my arms reach around my four week old, who happens to be strapped to my chest in our BabyBjorn – which has been my saving grace these days. She’s sleeping soundly, but just moments ago she was wailing (I’m speculating that I have a colicky baby on my hands) and this is the only way that I can get my work done. No shower yet today (it’s 1 pm, gross), pretty much all I’ve eaten is a quick bowl of oatmeal (and of course coffee) and have been up for the day since 5am (plus countless feeding during the night). But I’m chugging forward. Yup, being a mom of a newborn makes me feel superhuman.

Yes, I said it. I’ll sing it from the rooftops and admit the one thing that many moms might feel ashamed to say out loud: I live for nap time.

When I take a sip of this sweet elixir, I come alive and can go about my day with my head screwed on straight. Coffee is my hero and my first love.

In case someone comes out of the woodwork and goes extra hard with the mom-shaming for choosing to bottle feed, here are some really important reasons not to feel ashamed.

Eventually, I accepted the need to just let things go (like keeping up with cleaning), and embrace all the chaos that new motherhood brings. So, here are some tips from people who know best, plus one that I think I learned the hard way.

I was so consumed with being selfless that I never stopped to take care of myself, and it all came to a head. Now after turning 30 things have changed!

... there is no joy in the season when mom is locking herself in the bathroom to pull her hair out — don’t let that be you!

Pregnancy changes more than just your body and your emotions: it changes the “stuff” that you need on a daily basis, too. I didn’t realize just how much I needed — or how the packing game had changed — until I needed to place it all neatly into my (now) overflowing suitcase.